Whoever asked the universe for a Brett Ratner-produced Farmville TV series, your prayers have been answered. Also after the jump:

  • Director Barry Sonnenfeld signs on for Beverly Hills Cop
  • Ridley Scott sets up a Philip K. Dick-based miniseries at Syfy
  • HBO gives pilot order to Damon Lindelof‘s The Leftovers
  • Zombieland casts Maiara Walsh as its new Emma Stone
  • Frances Conroy will return for American Horror Story
  • Vince Gilligan will direct the last episode of Breaking Bad
  • Is that a corpse we see in the new Breaking Bad set photo?
  • Check out a new picture from the set of ABC’s S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • Watch an intense new trailer for Game of Thrones Season 3

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The White House’s statement regarding the Death Star petition was nothing if not good-humored, but it seems the administration would prefer not to waste their time on such frivolous requests going forward. (Imagine that!) Whereas the Death Star proposal needed only 25,000 signatures to merit a response, the threshold for getting an official White House response has now been raised to 100,000 signatures.

As of right now, only one active petition — to recognize the Westboro Baptist Church as a hate group — is past that mark. If we know the Internet, though, even the 100K line should be no problem for the next geek who wants to, say, raise funds for Hoth exploration. [Mediaite]

After the jump, read about Once Upon a Time‘s Star Wars not-quite-crossover, Disney Infinity‘s potential plans for Star Wars and Marvel, and how much Samuel L. Jackson still really wants to return for Episode VII.

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Steel yourself for the very end of Fringe with a new trailer and poster. Also after the jump:

  • The Killing is officially returning to AMC for a third season
  • Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B get pulled from Sundays
  • Who noticed that the Twin Towers were missing on The Carrie Diaries?
  • Battlestar Galactica‘s Ron Moore is returning to Syfy with Helix
  • iTunes will offer Downton Abbey a little early; Maggie Smith will return
  • We Bought a Zoo‘s Colin Ford joins Stephen King‘s Under the Dome
  • Hannibal casts Aliens star Lance Henriksen in a guest spot
  • See the premiere of the Childrens Hospital spinoff Newsreaders
  • Nick Offerman fantasizes about the presidency on Axe Cop
  • A new video goes behind the scenes of Game of Thrones Season 3

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Whether you like spiteful Philadelphians or vengeful Romans, there’s something for you here. After the jump:

  • Louis CK, Bryan Cranston, and Rian Johnson score DGA noms
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is getting its own beer
  • Revolution, Political Animals, and more are coming to Netflix
  • Fox’s late-night animation block will kick off this summer
  • Fox’s In Living Color reboot is not going to happen
  • Read one fan’s argument that it’s OK if NBC kills Community
  • Is ABC’s Happy Endings in danger of getting cancelled?
  • The casting search for Dexter Season 8 offers some plot hints
  • Spartacus: War of the Damned has a bloody new trailer

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It’s been a slow week for movie news, but not so on the small-screen front. After the jump:

  • Jon Favreau will direct one of The Office‘s last episodes
  • Nancy Pelosi and Ice-T will appear on the 30 Rock finale
  • A Walking Dead newcomer joins Once Upon a Time
  • Here’s what Donald Glover will be doing on Girls
  • Writer Megan Ganz leaves Community for Modern Family
  • Ryan Murphy teases details on American Horror Story Season 3
  • Anna Faris books Chuck Lorre’s newest comedy, titled Mom
  • Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer team for a new sitcom
  • Starz backs a new drama from William Monahan called Crime
  • Four more trailers debut for David Fincher‘s House of Cards
  • The Walking Dead gets a teaser for the second half of Season 3

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While we’ve been running around preparing for and celebrating the holidays, a few interesting bits of TV news have broken over the past few days. After the jump:

  • How I Met Your Mother will return for Season 9
  • Happy Endings and Don’t Trust the B— get shuffled
  • Timothy Olyphant books an Archer guest role
  • Why did Glen Mazzara leave The Walking Dead?
  • The CW is developing a female Robin Hood series
  • NBC’s failed The Farm will air as an Office episode
  • Bryan Fuller‘s Mockingbird Lane is officially dead
  • Girls Season 2 gets two new trailers and a featurette
  • Downton Abbey is losing a star in Season 4

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Today’s TV Bits comes with the caveat that none of this applies if the world actually ends on 12/21/12. After the jump:

  • Black Dynamite, Catfish, The League, and Psych get renewed
  • Cinemax sets a January premiere date for Alan Ball‘s Banshee
  • Game of Thrones gets more screen time and its own beer
  • Jason Schwartzman and Jenny Slate head to Parks & Rec
  • Rose McGowan is Once Upon a Time‘s young Barbara Hershey
  • Amazon Studios orders pilots from Kristen SchaalGarry Trudeau, and more
  • The premiere episode of NBC’s 1600 Penn hits the web

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We’ve been treating Disney’s Lucasfilm acquisition like it was a done deal, but in fact it still hasn’t quite closed. It did take a step closer this week, though, when the U.S. Federal Trade Commission reviewed the proposed acquisition and gave it the go-ahead. Neither company has announced when exactly the deal will be finalized. [The Force]

Also after the jump: Darth Vader pitches in on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Dark Horse has big plans for 2013, fans build a life-sized Millennium Falcon, and Peter Jackson cites Star Tour as his 48 fps inspiration.

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