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I recently had the chance to see The Protector 2which is available right now on VOD on iTunes and Amazon. The Protector 2 is actor Tony Jaa’s follow-up to The Protector, which has one of the most impressive long continuous shots I’ve ever seen in an action film. Based on the strength of that shot alone, I figured the sequel was worth giving a chance, even if it does contain RZA’s acting.

Turns out, this movie is by far the most insane martial arts film of 2014. Hit the jump to learn why. SPOILERS follow.

A whole fleet of dudes use motorcycles as weapons against Tony Jaa.

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The movie has some of the worst CG I’ve ever seen…

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…like when Jeeja Yanin creates an explosion using an electrical cord or something.

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A woman kills a guy by punching him in the throat.

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For some reason, some concrete walls get set on fire…

Firewalls

…and Tony Jaa uses them to make flaming shoes.

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Tony Jaa and his enemy use a train track to electrify themselves during a fight(!!!).

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This happens.

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Oh, and they turn Tony Jaa’s elephant into A BOMB as part of a terrorist plot.

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But in the end, you still get to see a lot of elbows and knees go into heads. That makes things okay, I guess…

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elbow

So there you have it. The Protector 2 is not a good film. It has some awful acting, a laughable script, and way too much CG in its action scenes for my tastes. But there’s an earnestness to it that I can’t deny.  It feels like the filmmakers would do anything they could to entertain you, if only they knew exactly what you would like.

The film tries to throw everything against a wall to see if it works. And while the vast majority of it doesn’t, the resulting wall is certainly very colorful…

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