I recently had the chance to see The Protector 2which is available right now on VOD on iTunes and Amazon. The Protector 2 is actor Tony Jaa’s follow-up to The Protector, which has one of the most impressive long continuous shots I’ve ever seen in an action film. Based on the strength of that shot alone, I figured the sequel was worth giving a chance, even if it does contain RZA’s acting.

Turns out, this movie is by far the most insane martial arts film of 2014. Hit the jump to learn why. SPOILERS follow.

A whole fleet of dudes use motorcycles as weapons against Tony Jaa.




The movie has some of the worst CG I’ve ever seen…


…like when Jeeja Yanin creates an explosion using an electrical cord or something.


A woman kills a guy by punching him in the throat.


For some reason, some concrete walls get set on fire…


…and Tony Jaa uses them to make flaming shoes.


Tony Jaa and his enemy use a train track to electrify themselves during a fight(!!!).



This happens.


Oh, and they turn Tony Jaa’s elephant into A BOMB as part of a terrorist plot.


But in the end, you still get to see a lot of elbows and knees go into heads. That makes things okay, I guess…



So there you have it. The Protector 2 is not a good film. It has some awful acting, a laughable script, and way too much CG in its action scenes for my tastes. But there’s an earnestness to it that I can’t deny.  It feels like the filmmakers would do anything they could to entertain you, if only they knew exactly what you would like.

The film tries to throw everything against a wall to see if it works. And while the vast majority of it doesn’t, the resulting wall is certainly very colorful…

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