I can’t lie: diehard fans of the original Prom Night from 1980 give me the creeps. It’s not that it’s a low rent slasher, it’s just not very good, or even campy. If you want a comely Jamie Lee Curtis, revisit Halloween. She smokes a joint as “Don’t Fear the Reaper” plays in that one. Or put on Trading Places and pause it on her ta-tas as you vacuum your apartment. Be a champ. The new trailer for April’s PG-13 remake is tearing up the Internets like a glass dancefloor, and as you might expect, the bright eyed high school victims look like 30somethings who sprouted from an L.A. Petri dish. The actual prom is so extravagant and over-produced I expected Miss South Carolina to cameo and suddenly get her head knocked off by a globe. Telling fact: the next film of Jessica Stroup, one of the no name actresses in this, is a similar thriller entitled Homecoming.
Let’s not kid ourselves that this flick exemplifies humanity’s plasticity, but like Kurt Vonnegut says, there’s no need to put on a suit of armor to attack a hot fudge sundae. That’s why god made the Web, bed head, Hanes v-necks, pudding stains, and the word, “derrrr.” However, it is more disgruntling that Prom Night‘s director, Nelson McCormick, is next remaking 1987’s groovy The Stepfather. Even worse, a remake of the cult classic April Fool’s Day is hitting theaters ten days before tiaras get showered in blood. Okay, now I’m friggin’ outraged. Who’s with me?
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