Posted on Wednesday, April 12th, 2017 by Ben Pearson
Narrowing down the most ridiculous moments of the Fast & Furious franchise proved to be a difficult task, considering how, you know, the entire damn franchise is comprised of ridiculous moments. But that’s a big part of the reason I love these movies. With the series’ eighth film, The Fate of the Furious, arriving this Friday, there’s no better time to glance in our rear view mirrors and take a tour through the most ridiculous moments in Fast history. Fill your NOS tanks, grab yourself a Corona, and prepare to race through this list a quarter mile at a time.
8. Boat Jump – 2 Fast 2 Furious
We’ve established that 2 Fast 2 Furious is the worst Fast movie so far, and John Singleton’s flashy approach here is all style and no substance. But aside from the absurd “stare and drive” scene, there’s one moment worth singling out in this uninspired sequel: when Brian (Paul Walker) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson) pull a Starsky and Hutch and ramp their car onto a moving yacht. Brian seems unfamiliar with the roads, and it appears he had no clue there was a ramp at the end of the street he was on, let alone the exact speed to be traveling that would allow them to land on that boat. To the film’s credit, though, the characters actually seem like they’re experiencing some pain after their vehicle crashes, and characters reacting to pain becomes more and more rare as the series progresses. Of course, they’re still well enough to shoot the bad guy seconds after landing.
7. Tanker Dodge – Fast & Furious
2009’s Fast & Furious opens with Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel), Letty Ortiz (Michelle Rodriguez), and a proto-version of their “family” hijacking fuel in the Dominican Republic. But one theft nearly ends in catastrophe when Dom and Letty find themselves boxed in, with a burning tanker blocking the road behind them and another bearing down on them. But look at Dom’s face at the 2:12 mark in that video. He’s not worried in the slightest. And why should he be? Dominic Toretto can do just about anything as long as he’s behind the wheel of a car – and that apparently includes doing some genius-level calculus in his head, timing the tumbling tanker’s bounces so perfectly he and Letty simply slip underneath. This is one of the first moments in which we see Dom shift from just a guy who can drive into a full-fledged superhero.
6. Bus Flips – Fast Five
It doesn’t take long for Fast Five to crank up the insanity and let the audience know that five movies in, the filmmakers are operating on an entirely different playing field. I’m not a physicist, but I don’t think a bus could slam into the back of Brian’s car like that and go flying without Brian experiencing little more than a scratched bumper. That alone wouldn’t have been enough for this moment to make this list, but the aftermath is where things get totally outlandish. I count five full rotations on that crash – clearly enough to kill everyone on board multiple times over – but as we instantly discover from some expository news reports, not only did Dom escape, but literally everyone on the bus survived that crash. I remember laughing out loud at that moment in the theater; it’s the most brazenly ridiculous opening in the franchise’s history.
5. Dom’s Detective Skills – Fast & Furious
This franchise utilizes some classic soap opera tropes by employing a fake murder and amnesia as major plot points, and that whole mess begins in Fast & Furious when Dom hears Letty has been killed. (Don’t worry, she’s fine.) Dom and his sister Mia (Jordan Brewster) visit the crash site where Letty supposedly died, and Dom displays Sherlock Holmes-esque abilities of deduction, constructing the crash in his head based solely on the skid marks he sees on the street. This may not seem that ridiculous for these movies, but the fact that this is the one and only time in the entire franchise in which Dom demonstrates these abilities puts it in a class all its own. The dude’s since been in some serious scrapes where these powers might have come in handy. What gives?