Bennett Miller directing Foxcatcher

Following two Best Director Oscar nominations, for Capote and Foxcatcher, Bennett Miller‘s career is in the toilet. Really. He’s the director behind a new series of commercials for Quilted Northern, the toilet paper that supposedly “works so well, people can forget their bathroom experience.” Too bad the various toys, knick-knacks, and wallpaper designs who are watching the bathroom experience aren’t so lucky.

Watch the Bennett Miller toilet paper ads after the jump.

Quilted Northern unveiled their new series of commercials on YouTube.

According to AdWeek, the campaign was based on research showing that people only remember toilet paper when it’s bad. But it’s hard to make a product stand out when it’s completely forgettable by design. So instead, Quilted Northern takes the clever approach of asking you to think of the poor souls who have no choice but to remember.

The Quilted Northern ads, from agency Droga5, follows the unusual plight of various bathroom objects. A porcelain figurine begs God to “smash me into a million pieces,” while a plastic toy despairs that “this is no place to raise a child.” The only character lucky enough to be shielded from the horror is a wallpaper bird, and that’s only because it has an outlet for a face.

My personal favorite, though, is Grandpa Thaddeus, who “always hoped to know his great-grandchildren, but not like this. Not like this.” Think about that the next time you find yourself in a restroom with photos of dead relatives strewn about.

 

It’s not unusual for esteemed directors to take the occasional commercial gig. But they’re usually for stuff like video games, designer perfumes, or luxury vehicles. It’s not every day you see a big-shot filmmaker take on something as humble as toilet paper. Though maybe they should. The Quilted Northern commercials have a hilariously dark sense of humor, and it makes us wonder what Miller could do with a black comedy script.

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