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There was a time in the ’90s when derelict kids were consuming entire packets of Big League Chew and ravaging through violent garbage comics like Trencher and the motherlode, DC ComicsLobo.

Try as I might to better myself, the possibilities of a long-planned R-rated Lobo movie adaptation remain irresistible. A proper cinematic depiction of  Lobo’s day-to-day would ideally blend the Star Wars cantina with Road House‘s Double Deuce. Certain scenes might need to be lifted wholesale from Bob Guccione’s Caligula. Of course, is there a leading actor today who could embody this gutter-minded, intergalactic bounty-hunter (Juggalo forefather)? Calling Shia LaBeouf.

Latino Review have put together a video rundown of the latest script. The Joel Silver/Warner Bros. vehicle was originally penned by the scarcely credited Angel Dean Lopez, and recently revised by Don Payne (The Simpsons, My Super Ex-Girlfriend) and Jerrold E. Brown (Prey). Lobo’s origins as a hellish, discarded infant are said to be revealed briefly, while the plot centers on him tracking down the four worst, alien criminals in a universe gone to shit.

The LR guys take issue with the plot moving to Earth, and compare this twist to Masters of the Universe. Yeah, that’s terrible. They also jokingly point out that Lobo is so much the “badass” that he guns a motorcycle through space. Some of the violence and nudity sound intact—a requisite comparison to Heavy Metal—but overall, it reeks of big-franchise compromise. Let us know what you think in the comments. And who would be a good director/actor for the project?

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