Jupiter Ascending Honest Trailer

After all the excitement surrounding Andy & Lana Wachowski getting another chance at crafting original sci-fi, it was such a disappointment to see what Jupiter Ascending turned out to be. It’s one of those beautiful, mind-blowing disasters like Super Mario Bros. or Battlefield Earth. And while it’s full of stunning imagery and wild characters, none of it makes any damn sense. In fact, the movie is so ridiculous, that the folks at Honest Trailers were begged to skewer this sci-fi debacle, and they don’t pull any punches.

Watch the Jupiter Ascending Honest Trailer after the jump.

While I disagree with the fact that the Wachowskis haven’t directed anything else worth mentioning other than The Matrix (both Speed Racer and Cloud Atlas deserve plenty of praise), it’s hard to argue with anything they say about Jupiter Ascending. The characters are two-dimensional, we move from scene to scene without really accomplishing or learning anything, and the entire film is a fairytale full of obvious philosophy and social commentary like a college freshman’s paper.

Honest Trailers is also right on the money with their critique of Mila Kunis‘ character. The actress was touting on the press tour that her character wasn’t just a damsel in distress and she got to be a bit of a badass, but that’s the complete opposite of what we see on screen. Perhaps all that badassery got left on the cutting room floor, with everything else that would have helped give Jupiter Ascending any semblance of coherence. But at least the explanation about Channing Tatum‘s space roller blades made it in there.

Obviously we want studios to be more confident in original sci-fi, and it’s a bummer that the film has only pulled in $181 million worldwide on a reported budget of $176 million (via Box Office Mojo). But it’s hard to root for a movie that can’t be praised. If you came out of Jupiter Ascending loving every minute of it, I can only imagine you sound as crazy as Eddie Redmayne‘s positively cartoonish villain in this movie.

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