Jimmy Kimmel post Oscars skit

Actors don’t get to the Dolby Theatre stage without some serious skills, and as revealed on Jimmy Kimmel‘s post-Oscars show last night, there’s no better place to develop those skills than at the Kimmel School of Perfect Acting.

Kimmel proves a fearsome teacher, beating Sean Penn with a pool noodle and forcing Gary Oldman to literally act his way out of a paper bag. “But let me tell you,” an awed Jeff Bridges explains, “when someone lights your script on fire and duct-tapes it to your hands, you’re gonna find a way to say your lines.” Yikes. Terence Fletcher would probably tell this guy to dial it down a notch.

Watch the star-studded Jimmy Kimmel post Oscars skit after the jump.

The long list of celebrity appearances include Benedict Cumberbatch, Lupita Nyong’o, Mila Kunis, Eddie Redmayne, Kristen Bell, Susan Sarandon, Jennifer Aniston, Harvey Weinstein, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, and of course, Kimmel’s favorite punching bag Matt Damon.

Well, now we know how Kimmel drew such remarkable performances for Ameowadeus and Bitman Begins last year. Say what you will about Kimmel’s unorthodox methods, but they get results. The 13 confirmed students of The Kimmel School of Perfect Acting have 6 acting Oscars and 16 more nominations between them.

That includes Redmayne, who proved good enough for the Academy last night but just can’t seem to pass muster with Kimmel here. Though if Kimmel really wants to see Redmayne do some scream-crying, maybe he should check out Jupiter Ascending.

It’s unfortunate, however, that Redmayne failed to acknowledge Kimmel in his speech. Nyong’o recalls what happened to her when she made that grievous error during her Best Supporting Actress win last year: “Later that night, after the Vanity Fair party, he followed me home and bashed in all the windows of my car. I guess I deserved it.”

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