This past weekend we asked /Film readers to tell us what they thought of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We got over 2025 votes on our poll and 266 comments. While the majority of readers who voted in the poll Loved the film (41%, while 18% voted “It Sucked”), the comments on the post were largely negative. I decided since you guys put the work in, I’d dig through the comments and bring you a best of – a compilation of the funniest or most interesting comments left about Indy 4. Enjoy!
Josh: “I totally cracked my friend up at the end of the movie when I turned to him and said “I know I’m Jewish and all, and I can’t believe I’m going to say thisâ€¦ but I miss the Nazis.”"
jonny: “Fake us all out with a big trailer that makes you think this film is huge and will fucking suck. But instead the film is only 15 minutes long and ends with him dying in a nuclear explosionâ€¦ Thank you for treating me with respect!”
Greg: “How many people loved Transformers last year? I did. But, the storyâ€¦ aliens come down from another planet and turn themselves into cars. How is that different (or more importantly, more believable) than the central theme in Crystal Skull?”
Rob: “The top 5 things I hate about this movie (in no particular order). WARNING – SPOILER ALERT! 1. INDY SURVIVES A NUCLEAR BLAST – WTF? 2. Shia swings from vines in the jungle with a family of monkeys – I shit you not. 3. They drive a jeep over three 100 foot waterfalls and survive without a scratch. 4. Space aliens and a UFO does not belong in an Indiana Jones film! 5. Kate Blanchet’s character is destroyed by knowlege; really? If I see George Lucas out in public I’m gonna punch him in his turkey neck.”
Seth Rogen: “Hey you! Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you. If you’re an adult and you hated this Indiana Jones film, that’s because you went to a kids flick. Kids movies are ridiculous because kids are insane by nature. If you want to see an action movie for grownups go see Pineapple Express out August 8th. Word”
Cogezek: “It kind of felt like they rewrote the script dozens of times over 19-20 years.”
marcomc2: “I just got back from a midnight soul raping thunder slaughter of shit.”
Justin: “I like that aliens are too hard for people to believe but mystically powerful Jewish zombie wine cups are okay.”
Thumb: “So I’d say that George Lucas didn’t rape the corpse of my childhood, but he gave it a good, rough tongue-kissing. … There will be no aliens in X-Files, but there ARE aliens in Indiana Jones? Am I on earth 2?”
Simon: “Harrsison and Shia made a sterling effort to try and turn a big steaming pile of dog turd into something watchable. … I’m going to take a deep breathe and count backwards from ten, and forget this film ever happened.”
Tom: “Awful. I knew it was going to be bad as soon as it was revealed that evil Commie Cate Blanchette revealed she was psychic.”
Simon: “If you’re an Indy fan then prepare yourself for two hours of cinematic soddemy.”
Allynd Dudnikov: “This was the best Allan Quartermain movie yet! â€¦oh wait.”
Captain Awesome: “Indiana Jones: National Treasure 3″ … “The cock-slapping plants were hilarious.”
790: “Maybe for the disinfranchised fans we can have Indy digging up dinosaur bones in the next film, while Mutt goes back to high school and trys to cope with the divorse?? Meanwhile Marion can sue for Indys college retirement pension and setup a restraining order? Would that ground the film in reality for ya?????”