Forget about Tyler Perry and that $130 million he raked in last year. Even the man behind Madea would have to toil for almost five centuries at that rate to equal the $62 billion personal fortune amassed by Smaug. The Middle-earth dragon dominates Forbes‘ list of the 15 wealthiest charcters, followed by the likes of Carlisle Cullen, Lisbeth Salander, Tywin Lannister, and Robert Crawley.

As you might guess, the accounting doesn’t seem entirely scientific. It seems suspiciously convenient, for example, that most of the men, women, and creatures in the Top 15 come from pop culture franchises that are especially hot right now. But if you’ve ever wondered whether Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne would dominate in a pissing contest for the 1%, hit the jump for the rankings.

Forbes is careful to note that the calculations don’t come completely out of thin air:

To qualify for the Fictional 15, we require that candidates be an authored fictional creation, a rule which excludes mythological and folkloric characters. They must star in a specific narrative work or series of works. And they must be known, both within their fictional universe and by their audience, for being rich.

Net worth estimates are based on an analysis of the fictional character’s source material, and where possible, valued against known real-world commodity and share price movements. In the case of privately held fictional concerns, we seek to identify comparable fictional public companies. All figures are as of market close, April 1, 2012.

Final valuations are calculated with a grain of salt, and a willingness to break our own rules.

Okay then. On to the list:

1. Smaug, The Hobbit ($62 billion)
2. Flintheart Glomgold, Uncle Scrooge ($51.9 billion)
3. Carlisle Cullen, The Twilight Saga ($36.3 billion)
4. Jed Clampett, The Beverly Hillbillies ($9.8 billion)
5. Tony Stark, Iron Man ($9.3 billion)
6. Richie Rich, Richie Rich ($8.9 billion)
7. Charles Foster Kane, Citizen Kane ($8.3 billion)
8. Bruce Wayne, Batman ($6.9 billion)
9. Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump ($5.7 billion)
10. Mr. Monopoly, Monopoly ($2.5 billion)
11. Lisbeth Salander, the Millennium series ($2.4 billion)
12. Tywin Lannister, Game of Thrones / A Song of Ice and Fire ($2.1 billion)
13. C. Montgomery Burns, The Simpsons ($1.3 billion)
14. Robert Crawley, Downton Abbey ($1.1 billion)
15. Jo Bennett, The Office ($1 billion)

Not convinced? The truly geeky among you can click here for a painstakingly detailed look at how the financial magazine calculated Smaug’s fortune, taking into account such factors as the number of diamonds encrusted his scales and his likely sleeping position (so as to estimate the size of the mound of gold beneath him).

To put the figures in perspective, the same publication named Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim Helu the richest non-fictional person in the world earlier this year, with a net worth of $69 billion. Runner-up Bill Gates, at $61 billion, is worth less than Smaug, while Michael Bloomberg’s $22 billion fortune puts him at #20 on the real-world list but would place him at #4 on the fictional list.

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