Fifty Shades of Grey sequel

For their 100th episode, the Honest Trailers gang has decided to tackle a movie that’s simply begging to be punished: Fifty Shades of Grey. Based on an erotic novel that was famously conceived as a piece of Twilight fan-fiction, Fifty Shades of Grey is, as the Honest Trailer narrator puts it, “the film adaptation that ended up leaving millions of people around the world asking, ‘Is that it?'”

Watch the Fifty Shades of Grey Honest Trailer after the jump. 

There was a time around 2012 when it seemed like the entire nation was giggling over the naughty bits in E.L. James‘ book, when they weren’t laughing at the terrible writing. So the big surprise with Sam Taylor-Johnson‘s cinematic adaptation was that it turned out to be both much classier and much less risqué than the source material.

Sure, Christian is still an “all-around sociopath” who describes himself as “fifty shades of fucked up.” (Which, as Honest Trailers points out, is not a phrase anyone has ever used.) But his much-hyped “unconventional” tastes amount to little more than a bit of spanking. Truly, a BDSM movie has failed at being a BDSM movie when the kinkiest thing seen onscreen are the fake-Google search results for “submissive.”

The Honest Trailers team justifiably rips into the Fifty Shades of Grey movie for its relative lack of sex, sarcastically rattling off “the steamy action people were expecting from Fifty Shades of Grey. Like: emails, texting, contracts, contract negotiations, nondisclosure agreements, conditions, clauses, and tender missionary lovemaking.”

But it seems appropriately grateful, as well, for the nonsense lines that Taylor-Johnson chose to discard. If there’s an exclamation less sexy than “holy cow,” I don’t know what it is. So as you enjoy the trailer for Fifty Shades of Great, There’s Gonna Be Two More of These, Good Job, World, just think: It could have been so much worse. And with Tayl0r-Johnson out and James in greater control, it probably will be next time.

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