donald trump movie cameos

In a story that can only be published in the Year of Our Lord 2017, Donald Trump reportedly threatened to sue the producers of Sharknado 3 for casting Mark Cuban as their president instead of him. Yeah, you read that right.

It makes me wonder that if Trump had achieved his dream and been cast as president in SyFy’s schlocky disaster series, would that have put his presidential ambitions to rest? Is this his art school? Or would we just have gotten Mark Cuban running in 2016 instead? Who knows. But at least we were saved from one more Trump movie cameo in the process.

One of the best parts about watching Sharknado, other than seeing Tara Reid wield a chainsaw machine arm against a CGI shark, is the D-list cameos by actors who apparently have enough time on their hands to appear in a campy, low-budget cable channel spectacle. Usually you’ll get the likes of Charo as the Queen of England, Fabio as the Pope, or Clay Aiken as a techie spoofing Q from James BondIt’s like a who’s who of Help I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here except they all chose to be in these movies. And until two years ago, Donald Trump was part of this crowd!

Which is why the producers of Sharknado 3, who were looking to set part of the film in Washington, D.C., initially approached Trump to play the fictional commander-in-chief in their sci-fi TV movie. Latt, the co-founder of The Asylum, the film company behind the Sharknado series, told The Hollywood Reporter:

“The Donald said yes. He was thrilled to be asked.”

Trump was “in serious talks” to appear in Sharknado 3 but after weeks of silence, Trump attorney Michael D. Cohen — who is currently under FBI investigation over the Russia investigation — told Latt, “Donald’s thinking about making a legitimate run for the presidency, so we’ll get back to you.”

If Sharknado is the impetus for Trump running for president, I’m going to blow a gasket.

But here’s the best part of this story. After Latt and the Sharknado 3 producers scrambled to cast Mark Cuban, a businessman who coincidentally also went political and spoke at the RNC during the 2016 election, as president with Anne Coulter as his vice president, Trump reportedly threatened to sue. Latt told THR:

“Then we immediately heard from Trump’s lawyer. He basically said, ‘How dare you? Donald wanted to do this. We’re going to sue you! We’re going to shut the entire show down!'”

True to form for the Trump administration, Cohen denied the angry correspondence ever took place. But still, it’s amazing that Trump, cameo man extraordinaire, could get so worked up over a D-list role that ends in him getting eaten by a CGI shark. To be fair, that’s not much better than any of his other awkward cameos throughout the years, which have only grown worse throughout time.

So here: let me rant about how a few Donald Trump movie cameos ruined my favorite things.

The Donald Trump Cameos That Ruined My Favorite Movies and Shows

Two Weeks Notice

I just wanted to put on a silly rom-com on a Friday night to get away from the horrible political news that plagued my week. So I put on Two Weeks Notice, a not-good but still-great work comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant at the tail end of their respective rom-com primes. And I was having a great time! Until about two-thirds of the way through the movie when my magical “beautiful female lead at the top of the staircase” moment was rudely interrupted by Trump stepping in. I can’t remember much of the rest of the movie because I was seething with rage that Trump had ruined my Friday night — again. Don’t touch Hugh Grant and his beautiful floppy hair.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Here’s the infamous one: Home Alone 2. To be fair, he doesn’t get much dialogue here, so it’s not the worst. It is such a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, really. But oh my god, even that long coat can’t even hide Trump’s overly large tie.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Okay, no one’s favorite movie is Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, but I just had to include this stilted and looong piece of dialogue that they gave Trump. Why is he talking so long? Did they know he was talking this long? Have I fallen asleep and woken up in a different timeline where Trump is still talking? Oh, wait.

One more hilarious tidbit about Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps: Anthony Scaramucci — who gives How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days a run for its money with his short-lived career as White House communications director — apparently paid $100,000 for a five-second cameo in the Wall Street sequel. Money may never sleep, but it apparently doesn’t always work either.

The Little Rascals

Sometimes, I wonder how self-aware Trump is. Does he know each of these roles is a parody of the kind of privileged, pretentious businessman that he’s spent his whole political career tearing down — yet refuses to see that he is one himself? I don’t know. I’m tired. So very tired.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Oh, Carlton. This does not age well.

Friends

This wasn’t actually a cameo, but this was just another instance of me sitting down to watch one of my favorite shows and being extremely upset by the Trump name-drop. During a pivotal Mondler episode at that! I hope Monica and Chandler closed that elevator on Trump and laughed as he was forced to take the stairs. Oh by the way, did you know Trump is (probably) afraid of stairs?

Zoolander

Now Zoolander is one that I can call one of my favorite movies — and one of the best comedies of its decade. But does Trump’s 10-second cameo make it a little bit worse? You betcha. Just like Melania’s eyes in this scene, watching it makes me want to scream, “Help me, I’m stuck in a robot doppelganger of myself and I can’t escape this hellish nightmare.”

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