coolio batman

I’m not going to turn this post into a defense of Joel Schumacher‘s much-maligned Batman movies, but if someone cut me a check with the appropriate number of zeroes and asked me to defend them, I could do it! Few movies are so unique in their terribleness, so astonishingly wrongheaded as to cause migraines amongst fans 20 years later. I could talk about these movies all damn day. They are as fascinating as they are misguided, which means they’re reeeally fascinating.

And they could have been even more fascinating/misguided, because rapper Coolio says that Schumacher promised him the role of the Scarecrow in next movie, which never got off the ground.

Speaking with the Burleson Star (via Comic Book Resources), the man behind “Gangsta’s Paradise” and the star of Dracula 3000 says he only agreed to cameo in 1997’s iconically disastrous Batman & Robin because he was told he could play the villain in the next movie:

Batman & Robin was the only Batman that didn’t make money. I’m still sore about that a little bit, cause the only reason I did that part is because they promised me the villain part in the following Batman, which they didn’t do, because Joel Schumacher – they fired him. […] He was supposed to do the two next ones. He and I didn’t get along that good anyway—I mean he made a terrible Batman movie. But the next villain was supposed to be the Scarecrow. They didn’t do it though. Maybe one day. I’m sure they won’t come calling, though.

For those of you that have scrubbed Schumacher’s Batman movies from your brains, here’s proof that yes, Coolio did cameo in Batman & Robin:

coolio batman and robin

To be fair, the Scarecrow, a.k.a. fear toxin-wielding madman shrink Jonathan Crane, was going to be the villain in Batman Triumphant, Schumacher’s planned third film that was cancelled before cameras could begin rolling. However, Schumacher said years later that he wanted Nicolas Cage for the part. Sorry, Coolio. It sounds like you were hoodwinked.

Dr. Jonathan Crane ultimately did make his big screen debut in the next Batman movie, Christopher Nolan’s 2005 reboot Batman Begins, where he was played by an obviously-having-a-ball Cillian Murphy. But tonight, when you are nestled in bed, allow yourself to dream of the alternate dimension where Coolio played the Scarecrow in a third Schumacher Batman movie. Maybe, just maybe, this is the same alternate dimension where Stanley Kubrick made his Napoleon movie and Guillermo del Toro directed At the Mountains of Madness. After all, something would have to balance the cosmic scales.

Coolio as the Scarecrow in a third Joel Schumacher Batman movie. Jesus wept.

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