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“Curb it, punks.”

Can one of our commenters suit up as “The Internet” and have a wrastlin’ match with George Lucas already? The Star Wars poobah is back to his “let’s be realistic” and “most of you will probably hate it, but so what?” schtick, but this time he’s voicing his (non)concern about expectations for May’s Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And he goes on to take a jab at all of the preceding Indiana Jones movies as well. Why not? I mean, the title to the latest sequel shouldn’t conjure any fantastical event film notions in the minds of fans at all, right? Why not call it Jones and a Kingdom, Maybe an Alien, Too? Here’s what he shrugged to USA Today

“When you do a movie like this, a sequel that’s very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it’s going to be the Second Coming,” Lucas says. “And it’s not. It’s just a movie. Just like the other movies. You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up.”

And I have a theory that the U.S. government suped-and-purpled up a new $5 bill because Lucas is just over money. It’s like living in a world with only one stripper, I guess. Purple helps. The co-creator of one of the great American adventure characters insists that, for whatever reason, Indiana Jones can no longer make money him in today’s (i.e. “my”) world.

“We came back to do (Indy) because we wanted to have fun,” he says. “It’s not going to make much money for us in the end. We all have some money. … It would make a lot of money if you weren’t rich. But we’re not doing it for the money.”

So, does Lucas think the new film, which he co-wrote and produced, is just five out of ten cracks of the whip? He leaves fans with this drool-worthy sentence.

“It was really a blast. And it turned out fantastic. … I like to watch it.”

Discuss: The excitement is contagious. Can you feel it? My contribution was admittedly lame, but give your best alternative and completely whatever title to The Crystal Skull. 

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Crank 2 Spoilers Hit the Web

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A slew of spoilerific and amazing character descriptions for Crank 2 just hit the web over at Spoiler TV. We’ve pasted them all after the jump. Judging from the run down, directors and Slashfilm party mates Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor seem to really love the word “sociopath,” and their Ritalin milkshake of a sequel should be all the better for it. I mean, a villain that is 100-years-old? Holy shit, that is awesome. What is this, Double Dragon? Sorry Scott Wolf, it’s not. It’s Crank, one of the best action flicks/franchises in years that arguably has its own subcategory: post-Shane Black.

And how Hollywood is it to list a character named “Pepper,” to be played by a 20something actress, and conclude in all CAPS, “Must Be Okay with Nudity”? Furthermore, seems there will be more cheeky media commentary in the sequel, and while I know I mention this character in every other post, I would give anything to see Robert Downey Jr.’s nutzoid reporter Wayne Gale from Natural Born Killers make a cameo. If Jason Statham’s Chev Chelios can survive a black market heart transplant (not to mention a helicopter fall), Gale can be resurrected!

Details after the jump…

Discuss: With the masses discovering and loving its predecessor on DVD, how big of a hit can Crank 2 be? And should audiences over 30 have to sign a health waiver to see Crank 3 (3D)? I mean, really…

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Fanboys

Earlier today we wrote about how Star Wars fanboys were planning on boycotting The Weinstein Co’s Superhero Movie due to the way the company is handling the release of Fanboys. I just received a press release from The Weinstein Co, announcing that they would be releasing both cuts of the film on DVD “with the Company exploring options for its theatrical release.” But I’m calling bullshit… this press release is well designed corporate spin, which gives the impression that the Fanboys have won, when in fact, this is not a win. The press release reads:

“Star War fans nationwide have built a multi-tiered grassroots effort to voice their strong support for one of the earlier versions of the film, including a campaign which generated over 300,000 emails in support for the film.  Based on the tremendous feedback and interest from the fans, today’s announcement will ensure both versions will be equally available within the marketplace.”

Sounds like a win, right? Nope, read further. A quote from Matthew Frankel, Chief Communications Officer, The Weinstein Company is also included:

“Over the last few weeks we have received a tremendous amount of input from Star Wars fans nationwide. While the later version tested very well with audiences, the grassroots support we have received for the first version simply cannot be ignored.  We are very excited to launch these two films and look forward to giving the fans the opportunity to see both versions.”

Yeah, but not theatrically. The Weinstein Co still claims that the new cut “tested very well with audiences” yet everyone I’ve talked that has seen both cuts disagrees. Rumors had circulated the web that TWC hired plants to be in the audience for said test screening, however, this has never been confirmed.

I think Star Wars fans expected that both cuts of the film would be included on the eventual DVD. The fight was to get the first (and what I’ve heard, better) cut distributed theatrical, instead of the Steve Brill (Little Nicky, Drillbit Taylor) edit which completely ignores the Cancer storyline. I hope that Star Wars fanboys will continue to fight, and not let The Weinstein Co to spin this obvious non-victory to the mainstream press.  We must stop Darth Weinstein!

Stop Darth Weinstein

Star Wars fans are still very angry over The Weinstein Co’s horrible handling of Fanboys. Their movement has gained a bunch of mainstream press, including the New York Post, the Daily Telegraph, Vanity Fair, and thousands of websites. The group is now organizing Stop Darth Weinstein Protests in New York and Los Angeles on March 28th, outside two prominent movie theaters where Superhero Movie will be opening. Fore more information, click this link. Also check out this animated short film they made, which features Darth Weinstein in his Death Star company office, after the jump.

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Due in December, nothing substantial or even trivial has leaked from 20th Century Fox’s big budget remake of sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still starring Keanu Reeves, John Cleese, Jennifer Connelly and Kathy Bates. Reeves, who will next be seen in Aprils’s LAPD actioner Street Kings and plays the alien Klaatu in the holiday tent pole, talked to MTV about the enigmatic project and how it will differ from the 1951 original. While the movie’s premise will still revolve around aliens telling Earthlings to figure out world peace (and pronto!), director Scott Derrickson’s (Exorcism of Emily Rose) take will be updated for the Prius and metal water bottle set…

“The first one was borne out of the cold war and nuclear détente. Klaatu came and was saying cease and desist with your violence. If you can’t do it yourselves we’re going to do it. That was the film of that day,” Reeves explained. “The version I was just working on, instead of being man against man, it’s more about man against nature. My Klaatu says that if the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the earth survives. I’m a friend to the earth. …what we are doing and who we are as a species. We’re trying to reach beyond the idea of [just] environmentalism.”

Yeah, that’s cool Keanu, but what about the film’s signature robot Gort? Will it still look like a trophy statuette for “Greatest Rave Act 2002”?

“Hey man, don’t put that tin man down! That was iconoclastic!” Reeves protested. “[But] yes, we have another version of the [robot].”

Discuss: Can a sci-fi film doubling as an After School Special connect big in 2008?

Rambo 5: Bulgaria Serving as America?

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Three days ago we came across a production listing for Rambo 5 on an international film news website. The rumored next installment in Sylvester Stallone‘s second biggest franchise was listed to shoot on one or more new sound stages now being constructed in Bulgaria by a major European production studio. While Sly has played up his nickname on the sequel subject, the rumor was even stranger since January’s Rambo movie seemed to set up a return to America for the character. Bulgaria?! 

Today, Clint at MovieHole reports that a close source tells him that Bulgaria will actually serve as Rambo’s hometown “somewhere in Arizona” in the film. Yeah, I laughed too. Not because I think this is necessarily untrue, but, well Rambo’s gotta eat I guess. Here’s the tipster…

“The street sets of Bulgaria that are getting the makeover, the same ones that were rented out and used in Van Damme’s The Shepherd, will be doubling for Rambo’s hometown, which is supposed to somewhere in Arizona.”

While Stallone filmed a good portion of his last flick in Thailand, that’s where the awesome film was set. Without spoiling anything, the end of Rambo T’d up a pretty epic storyline or two, like “Rambo vs. Terrorists” or better, “Rambo vs. USA…Again,” and then there’s Stallone’s interviews where he says he wants to take the character into a different genre.  This is all speculation, but I guess if Lake Placid 2 passed off Bulgaria for the States, uh, Stallone could do it, too. But what about Vegas, Fort Bragg, LAX, the Hollywood sign, and Rupert Jee’s Hello Deli? Rambo needs to hit the road in a battle wagon and make like Clark Griswold or Henry Rollins.

Discuss: If Rambo 5 is set in the USA, where should the character kill people?  

Cool Posts From Around the Web:

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“Yeah, these movies are pretty dumb.”

Gotta love how the four actors who make up the Fantastic Four all treat a (non-) proposed Fantastic Four 3 sequel like a huge pile of lowbrow dishes in the sink. Actor Chris Evans, who plays Johnny Storm aka The Human Torch in the cornball Marvel franchise, follows up recent “whatever”-like comments from co-stars Michael Chiklis (The Thing) and Jessica Alba (The Invisible Mind Woman) with a similar cricket-call to MTV

“I’m pretty sure we won’t do [another] one,” insisted “Fantastic Four” star Chris Evans. “I’m assuming that one is a closed book. …It takes up a lot of time. It’s a big commitment. I’m happy with walking away.”

Evans adds that if Fox wanted to make another flick following the last one, the $130 million grossing Rise of the Silver Surfer, they probably would have called him last summer. You know, Swingers logic. Thought to be a springboard for a spin-off movie focusing on The Silver Surfer (played by Doug Jones, voiced by Laurence Fishburne), the sequel made less than its 2005 predecessor domestically, but neither film is publicly viewed as a loss after DVD sales et al. Of course, if a trifecta does occur, Alba said in January that she wants to go the preggo route and give birth to superpowered infant Little Franklin. About time a comic book movie challenged Knocked Up‘s money shot, eh? Up in the beautiful early spring sky, Galactus’s cloud doesn’t move.

Discuss: Okay, so who’s the guy with the Fantastic Four voodoo dolls? I owe you a beer.

 

“Jason never had a show on The CW.”

Can actor Jared Padelecki (Supernatural, Paris Hilton’s House of Wax) defeat one Jason Voorhees? We’ll find out next Valentine’s Day the 13th, when Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes and MTV Films unleash the Friday the 13th remake on hickey’d teens and horror fans still mesmerized by Crystal Lake (my hand is raised). Padelecki will star in the lead role as an investigator who visits the famous summer camp from hell to ask, “Why is there a wet, eight-foot guy in a hockey mask carrying a bloody machete standing next to that tree?”

As we previously reported, director Marcus Nispel, who gave the world Platinum Dunes’ Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake and Pathfinder, will helm the flick. Reportedly, we won’t have to wait until the second sequel to see Jason fall in love with the mask, but unfortunately the flick is not going to be in 3D or have Harry Manfredini’s gnarly disco remix of the theme song (makes for a great ring tone btw).

Of all Platinum Dunes’ horror remakes (The Birds, Rosemary’s Baby, ANOES), I wholeheartedly endorse this one. It’s a great fit for them and Nispel, and I can’t wait to see some hottie scream and jiggle as a cocky dude smoking a joint gets his head knocked off and over like Lucas in a football game. If Padelecki busts out the magnifying glass minutes later, fine. The franchise’s goods (of the gooey and rounded variety) will be delivered.

Discuss: Are you offended that Friday the 13th will be released on Valentines’ Day?

Chapter 27 Movie Poster

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Besides those who imagine La Lohan giving a great performance as a groupie, there is not much general interest in Chapter 27, the indie film opening March 28th about John Lennon’s murderer, Mark David Chapman, starring an obese Jared Leto. Peter hated it (4/10), and the movie has a 5.7 rating on IMDB from its run on the festival circuit; but there remains a vocal minority of sane people online that really digs this film, and the performance from Leto (Fight Club, Requiem for a Dream) most of all.

MTV got dibbs on the one sheet and it’s actually quite effective I think, making Chapman feel elusive, unsettling and spooky. Oh, who I am kidding, it’s Jared Leto with a double chin wearing pedophile glasses. You know you wanna click. Full poster after the jump.

Discuss: Defenders? Please explain.

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