Hope everyone is having a pleasant Saturday afternoon. Writing this latest Uwe Boll item poolside recalls the floater scene in Caddyshack, so let’s make it short and easy. Next weekend, Boll’s Postal, based on the “shocking” videogame, was set to open against Spielberg’s Indiana Jones, but its domestic theatrical roll-out has been greatly reduced from 1,500 screens to five (or less, depending on where you look). Slashfilm received a press release (is that Boll’s personal email? LOL.) in which Boll cites a conspiracy launched by exhibitors (the government?) to counter his film’s “infuriating” imagery, like that above. Keep in mind that a Dubbya doppleganger was just seen lacing joints with coke in Harold and Kumar 2, so Boll’s conspiracy claims are typically unfounded and shitrageous…
“Theatrical distributors are boycotting Postal because of its political content,” says Boll. “We were prepared to open on 1500 screens all across America on May 23rd. Any multiplex in the U.S. should have space for us, but they’re afraid. We have even tried to buy a few screens in New York and Los Angeles, and they won’t let us even rent the theaters! I urge independent exhibitors to contact us and book Postal! Audiences have been expecting the film and I don’t think exhibitors should censor what gets played in U.S. theaters.”
Postal boasts a few respectable names like Jason Reitman’s go-to man, J.K. Simmons, TKITH’s Dave Foley and far less respectable names like Verne Troyer and Uwe Boll. Peter saw the flick a while ago and said it wasn’t Boll’s worst offender, which is sort of like saying, “Grandma had a good day today.” It’s pretty bad when Boll’s films don’t even flop anymore, they just crawl onto Slashfilm pre-release and cease. So, pay your quick condolences and then continue exploring Liberty City.
Discuss: RIP Postal. The Boll petition has over 250,000 signatures.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Say what you want but I’m actually interested in seeing this film. Reason being: this guy is hilarious and a good distraction. One needs to see crap in order to appreciate good films and this guy is a comedy in his own right.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I’m just curious as to how he got J.K. Simmons on board.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
You shouldn’t write about this douche anymore.
May 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Well Slashfilm is about movies, and seeing as Uwe does make them, i don’t see why they should stop writing about him.
Yes he is terrible and should stop, but these guys are just doing their job
May 17th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I’m actually with Boll here, they should not be censoring what movies come to theaters. Some day this precident might come to bite us in the ass with some ultra-controversial movie that we actually want to see.
Although in this case it’s probably because they knew nobody would go see it.
May 17th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Was this actually censorship or just the distributer deciding they didn’t want to loose money? ‘Cause there’s a difference.
May 17th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Panda-
Uwe Boll is funny?
Wow. Thats all I’m going to say. WOW.
May 17th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Man.. Uwe Boll needs to just do the entire universe a favor and put a bullet through his own temple…. Quick and over with.
May 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
They need to make Spidey 4 & 5, to get old JK some work.
May 17th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
As the movie doesn’t have names that pull a crowd of hollywood-praising zombies,
Rick C: Do us all a favor, put on your jorts, trim your wife-beater-mustasch and stop browsing the web. You know your christian/republic-peers don’t want you to stumble on something that can be portrayed as heresy? But before you leave you can lick your screen one last time, watching goatse, you know you want to…
May 17th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
What’s the reason given for not showing the film (not Boll’s reason)?
May 17th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Poor guy, no one was really going to see it anyway.
May 17th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
More likes the theaters knew a hand full of people would see this film and instead figured giving the screens to Indie would generate more revenue for them.
Boll doesn’t see that of course, as his ego is a thick fog that doesn’t allow him to think of that possibility, so he goes on a lame conspiracy rant.
Well done cinemas.
May 17th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
this makes me so happy :)
May 17th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
hahahaha five screens thats awful. god this guy sucks. i can’t believe that he actually thinks that his movie was going to do better the Indie 4.
May 17th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
I actually think that Boll makes Funny Movies, I mean, they are bad and thats what makes them a great watch with your friends. Not for the movies, just to see with your friends and just laugh.
May 18th, 2008 at 3:00 am
im sure Postal will do great in Canada. lol.
May 18th, 2008 at 6:51 am
I kind of want to see Postal, only to know WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. Seriously, the trailers make this look like a huge WHATTHEFUCKfest on drugs.
May 18th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
@GregoryV
Now exactly what is that supposed to mean? *glares with patriotic pride*
May 19th, 2008 at 12:46 am
Film is fucking great and I wish anyone in Hollywood had his balls…
I wrote a review/covered his “retard” bashing Q&A over at our Vancouver blog…. http://www.beyondrobson.com/film/2008/05/uwe_boll_in_vancouver_a_postal_review/
May 19th, 2008 at 12:55 am
Ha, censorship. Part of me wants to feel pity, but it’s outnumbered by most of me that feels sick to my ass at this guy’s continuing career.
May 19th, 2008 at 4:44 am
i don’t think it’s censorship so much as it is good business.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Hhmm…Kinda sucks, after seeing House of the Dead I made a pledge to see every single one of his movies in the theaters. They’re bad, but I always view them as a good bad.
It’s a shame that people are either afraid to bring out his movies or are trying to keep it from being seen. Even as bad as Uwe gets sometimes…there’s a hell of alot worse out there.
August 7th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
Do we really need to keep posting about this moron? Just let him fade into nothingness. Seriously.
August 7th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Well Frank, gongrats for blowing new life to this post that died out on the 19th of may 08. You know that Uwe Bolls “FarCry” is being released in september?