Some movies don’t merit word counts or brain cells. Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay starring Kal Penn, Rob Corddry, John Cho, NPH on ’shrooms and a bevy of bottomless ladies is one of them. Peter asked me to inform readers that the sequel is graphed here chronologically using the site’s laff-o-meter (usually kept in the basement because it’s kind of a lame device). My official Slashfilm rating for H&K2 is a 4.5/10, with a margin of error of one point if you see it for free and another half point if you’re a human bong. Click to make the graph pop and click once more to zoom in.
UPDATE: I just remembered that a song by the Caucasian rap-Caucasian dreadlock-soft metal ’90s band 311 is contained therein. 311 in 2008!?! I am now marking the film down to a 3.5/10.
April 27th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
i will never watch this movie but i respect your graph.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:40 am
i wanna see more of these. brutally yet honestly true, except for when kumar blows his load on his face. unexpected yet pretty fucking hilarious
April 28th, 2008 at 1:07 am
“Hunter’s Deep Thoughts on H&K2″?
There’s your problem in the first place.
April 28th, 2008 at 1:29 am
this film is so wrong on many levels but i laughed my ass off because i love that filthy shit. it would of have been nice to have dave chapelle in this.
April 28th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Only thing that saved the first Harold and Kumar movie from being total dogshit was the mighty Neil Patrick Harris. Everything that didn’t involve him was utter garbage.
I’d rather take a needle and drain the fluid out of my eyeballs than see this movie.
April 28th, 2008 at 3:58 am
GregoryV,
I thought the film was hilarious for the sheer crass factor too. Then again, I am sick piece of shit.
April 28th, 2008 at 8:04 am
Harold and Kumar was lame the first time, i’m sure it’s worse this time. Although, I am on board for bottomless ladies.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:04 am
I thought it was pretty fucking funny, but I was blazed out of my mind when I saw it. I still like the first one better.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:12 am
Oh, and it’s true. Comedy central had waiting on all weekend. It was quite annoying.
April 28th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Amazing analysis of Harold and Kumar 2, even with graphs!!!!
Keep in mind ladies and gentleman, this review also comes from the guy who claimed we should be on drugs in order to ‘understand’ flicks better. Yet, he gives a stoner comedy a mediocre review because it wasn’t high-brow enough for you?
Guess Hunter will have to wait for ‘Oscar Movie,’ from the writers of Epic Movie, in which a Daniel Plainview spoof has him running around trying to bludgeon Eli with a milkshake over a bowling pin. HILARIOUS!!!!!!
April 28th, 2008 at 9:38 am
LOL! I love the graph. I don’t plan on seeing this movie
till DVD.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:00 am
@ A
High brow? H&K2 wasn’t funny enough and didn’t top the original.
I didn’t tell you to take drugs A! Doye. I suggested drugs as a mid-level resort to burnt out movie critics who rehash similar, safe, stale ideas about films over and over. Big deal.
Oscar Movie = um, good one.
April 28th, 2008 at 10:22 am
The graph is pretty right on. There is one thing they could’ve added to this movie to make it 100% better.
Jokes.
Also, I kinda want to drape a noose around each characters’ neck and then just wait for them to get up on their soapbox… and kick it out from under them. Seriously, who the fuck wants a message in a stoner comedy? Especially when that message is delivered via expository dialog.
April 28th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
it made me laugh a few times,, which is what i expected.
did anyone wait for after the credits,, just hoping a scene like that would be there? I think that was the most satisfying part of the movie
April 28th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
haha yes ck.
April 28th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
guys, how was nph? Is it worth seeing for him, or should I wait for DVD?
April 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
@ OC
NPH matched his scenes in the original, but his intro was incredibly subdued for all of the hype. The thing about the sequel is that they didn’t really go for it, but this same creative lethargy actually works half the time in a “who gives a shit, let’s say “fuck” and “douchebag” 80 times in a row” kind of way.
I’d say it’s worth seeing b/c you know what you’re getting OC. It’s not the “hey, this is pretty effing good who knew?” experience that was the original, but it’s like having a house party the night after a huge house party. Why not?
April 30th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
A: Regarding “Oscar Movie”… The sad thing is I don’t know if you’re joking or serious. I think that pretty much sums up how shitty those guys fucking movies are.