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Last month we posted a video of a 12-year-old named “Sexman”, who recorded a hilarious review of Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo. Th commenters on /Film demanded more, and Sexman has returned! This time Sexman takes on Doug Lineman’s Jumper, calling it “terrible as hell”, “terribly written” and saying that Hayden Christensen is the “shittiest actor I’ve ever known”. Watch the video below.
Discuss: Should we hire this kid full time to review movies?
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February 26th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
This kid is like Hunter, if hunter were coherent. i say HIRE!
February 26th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Yeah, hire him. Get him to do a review of the oscars or something new.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
He is spot on for his review
February 26th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Please hire him. At least pay for his admission so he can keep reviewing flicks.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Hilarious. I say hire him.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
How many cents can be put between every teeth of this kid?
February 26th, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Exactly the way I felt.
I need to show this to every idiot that liked Jumper. That piece of shit.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
And also SEXMAN is hilarious.
And awesome.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
HIRE HIM!!! No more “Siskel.” No more “Ebert.” No more “Roeper.” Only Sex, man.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
I hope so. Throw the kid a bone pay and his admission plus the admission of a friend. (help his dating life thrive)
February 26th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
jesus christ, please hire this kid. please.
please, i need a weekly dose of this. maybe a daily.
February 26th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
HIRE SEXMAN.
pay him 8 bucks a week for him to see a movie and to make a video review. this would be amazing
February 26th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I wholeheartedly concur. Please hire him!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
What’s hilarious is that he didn’t even talk about Jumper at all. Not even a sentence was devoted to talking about content. At least his Rambo review mentioned a few things specific to the movie. I kind of like this one better.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Yeah, give the kid a shot at the big time and hire him. Don’t overdo it though - he could get really ridiculous really quickly. Keep it to one review every two weeks or so, and I think this could be a huge hit.
February 26th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Stop waiting! Hire him now! Before I do!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Defo get your hands on this guy before someone else picks him up!!
February 26th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
I’m surprised this kid spent enough time away from his WOW game to go see a movie and review it. Don’t hire this kid, the last thing he needs is someone stroking his ego.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Sexman is such a pimp.
But seriously, I feel like spelunking between his teeth.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
Wait! Watch at the end, before the class fade away, you can see someone walking towards him..hence the quick cut off.
So sly.
February 26th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
Getting Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson to work on the same movie: $15,000,000
Having a 13 year old pre-pubescent kid give your movie a bad review: priceless.
Hire the little sh*t, he may have a future in this business.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
sadly, this kid has a short, but bright future. hes the white william hung.
February 26th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
This review was brilliantly handled. Touche Sexman, Touche.
- spidey
February 26th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Hire the kid
he sounds like Woody Allen’s 47 yr old little brother trapped in the body of a twelve year old.
The kid is classic in a Bud Melman kind of way
February 26th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Must. Hire. Sexman. It’s like the love child of Napoleon Dynamite and Dawn Wiener!
February 26th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
I think he has a career in comedic reviewing. “Hunk of Shit” loved that.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:01 am
YES DO IT. OMG HE’s HILARIOUS. I’m subscribed on youtube. it’s hilarious. hahahhaha
February 27th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Wow, this kid is a tool shed. Unless his parents are tool sheds too, I doubt he goes to see any movie. More likely he, downloads CAM’s and reviews them in between Red Bull’s and naked booby pictures.
Get the kid a Happy Meal and send him back to school. I doubt his Jr. High social status is damaged, and he’s still getting swirlies and wedgies.
February 27th, 2008 at 6:50 am
Do this kid a favor and ignore him. I would hate to see him subjected to the same everyday cruelties of bloggers that he has obviously picked up and is now spewing.
February 27th, 2008 at 9:52 am
None of you can honestly say that you don’t feel sorry for this kid; not because of the people thinking that his rants are completely ridiculous and that his parents should engage the parental controls on their computer, but for the total ass he’s making of himself thinking that he’s going to be the next big internet VBlogger.
Come on now… It’s not “cute, and it’s not “cool”. People watch him to make fun of him, not to gain insight on the next big flick.
I can’t imagine that /Film is serious about hiring this kid. I don’t think their target audience is the 8-13 year old bracket, and if it is… I’ve clearly made an error in judgment about this site.
Just looking at his profile on YouTube (Pruane2Forever)… If ever there were a cry for help, this kid is asking for it (help). 54, Gang Bang Productions… wow. Someone get this kid help before he shoots up his school.
February 27th, 2008 at 11:15 am
I enjoyed it. Not for the sideshow aspect, but because he’s dead on. Jumper was one of the stupidest and most poorly written movies I’ve ever seen. This kid’s review of the film, while containing almost no insight into the film, made 100x more sense than the actual movie.
February 27th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
This kid defiantly has a bright future in the fast food industry. While the movie did suck, he’s not saying anything that 2 dozen other reviews didn’t say. He’s just saying it in a prepubescent nasally voice. On that topic - L2 audio edit! Normalization and dB control kid, geez! I have to turn down my rig just so I don’t crack the glass sitting on my desk. He doesn’t even speak well for his age. How can you root for this kid?
February 27th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
LOVE HIM.
HIRE HIM, Peter - we can take up a collection to pay this kids’ salary.
February 28th, 2008 at 6:20 am
i can’t stop looking at his damn teeth. They’re like clothes pegs stuck in his mouth. Saying that his reviews do get me laughing, however i do have one question, he’s 12 and how the hell is he seeing AVP-R and Rambo? hmmmmm downloading maybe?! Or does someone sneak him in under their tops?
February 28th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Are you all serious? This kid is terrible, because he’s 12 and cusses its funny? If you think this kid is hilarious you probably also thought the last several will ferrel movies were a knee-slappin’ good time, huh?
I’m not defending jumper, i could care less, but pretty much everything he said about jumper he could say about his own review, I want my 3 minutes back.
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I totally agree with casey. this wasn’t funny at all. a kid who swears just does it for cheap laughs. same with old people swearing. no matter how long and bad jumper is i would totally rather watch it than another one of these reviews. how hard is it to realize jumper sucked anyway? it doesnt exactly take a genius film critic to say “this sucked” and “this was shit”.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
This review [rant] was absolutely beautiful and hiring this vibrant young man is possibly be the best idea ever. SERIOUSLY.
March 5th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
BTW either this kid is smarter than he looks or he has a big brother or something creating the aura of his character . . .
March 26th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Rename him to “Duckman” and you’ve got a winner.