Rambo Death Chart

rambo-kills.jpg

“Add Two and a Half Men to my chart.”

I’m not sure Rambo knows basic math, but from the looks of this spiffy new Rambo Death Chart (!!!) attached below, he’s too busy chain-gunning evildoers and furry critter bystanders, anyhow. Wow. I’m talking “three kills a minute for the entire film” wow. For the sake of spoilers, I won’t strip down like the chemistry teacher in Breaking Bad and roll around popping huge ’80s era squibs like bubble wrap right now, but let’s just say Rambo aka Rambo IV has a good 100 more deaths than former frag-champ Rambo III. And the good guys get their fair share of the blackness as well.

I remember when I first read the plot to Rambo I thought Sly was slyly but worrisomely going straight for the Passion of the Christ crowd. Then again, considering the red flow here, maybe he still is. View the numbers after the jump, and cheers to John Mueller at the L.A. Times for his numerical prowess. January 25th is officially Rambo Day.

rambo-death-chart.jpg

And he keeps his shirt on! But is that a bad thing?

  • kiko
    Sounds like there's a big video game coming soon...
  • HAHA! "Number of sex scenes: 0 0 0 0" LOL
  • Trebek
    Yeah this film looks ridiculous. I saw a leaked trailer for it when it was first announced, and it was BRUTAL. Now i have nothing against a little violence in a movie...Sometimes it's called for. Rambo on the other hand is just stupid. 3 people killed a minute!? So basically the whole film is people getting killed. This is more like a snuff film than an action flick. I enjoyed the first Rambo film, and as you can see by that chart up there, there wasn't even that much killing. Senseless murdering doesn't make a good movie.
  • Mohican
    No hate speech allowed on comments but the author of the article is allowed to stereotype all he wants... nice.
  • Danatic
    Thaaaat is awesome.
  • Hunter Stephenson
    In all seriousness, I just noticed that there is a severed limb - an entire friggin' arm! - in the above photo. Even when I'm blogging and randomly choosing an image for a post, Rambo is stacking bodies.

    Look at that arm! HAH.
  • mike
    This movie is going to be a blast can't wait to check it out this weekend...
  • big daddy
    trebek, yes it does
  • Col. Troutman
    I saw this last night. It was great. The story was solid, the action was there and it was the most fun I've had in a theater since I was a kid and saw Clash of the Titans. I'm a cinephile and loved There Will Be Blood, Juno and a lot of the movies that are critical favorites. But honestly, Rambo was just as good as any of those. I'm sure there's a million film-snobs who are repulsed by that statement. But all pretentiousness aside, this movie is a blast. And the crowd was so into it I felt like I was at a concert. Oh, and the violence was not senseless on Rambo's part. He was protecting people from those who commit senseless violence.
  • Mike
    First Blood actually has two deaths.....Brian Dennehy and that dude who falls out of the helicopter when Rambone throws a rock at it.
  • nashman
    brian dennehy didnt die in the firat one...he was wheelied out in an ambulance looking right rambo when they put him in the ambulance....
  • Jordan
    Brian Dennehy's character didn't die in first blood. He is carried out alive on a stretcher at the end.
  • irish
    TE GEK!!!!!!
    RAMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RAMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RAMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RAMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    lekker stuk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :)
  • Dan
    I just watched this movie. I enjoyed it, and I understand why people didn't, but to me i think that you can enjoy whatever movie you want to enjoy, just don't pressure other people into liking it. I enjoyed the previous 3 movies, but since the "modern days" pretty much requires one of the 3 things: extreme amounts of violence, tons of swearing, or a full on sex scene. I think this movie picked the better path, it attracts the teen crowd, due to the brutality, and it attracts the die hard Rambo fans from the previous movies. So for all logicality they made the right decision to go with the violence. PS I'm 17 and i thought this movie could be way more violent then it was, so please don't bash the violence so much, saving pvt. Ryne was way more violent, but I thoroughly enjoyed that movie too.
  • Brad O'Neill
    This Movie was awsome! I loved every minute what can I say I am a republican. The message was solid "Good People need to act in the face of evil" Bad guys left unchecked ruin entire countries and are really bad for villagers.

    Suspend your misbelief for a few hours and cheer for Rambo as he does what we all wish we could.

    by the way Burma in the movie or Myanimar (sorry for the spelling) needs our help. Was anyone else not enraged by the government there letting their own people die when all it would of taken was a few helicopters to help them.

    The bad guys in real life are just as bad as the movie villains portrayed in this film. I just wish the good guys were as bad ass as Rambo!
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