lemmy and pinhead

In the necessary world of cinematic promotion, studios will do anything for publicity. Nowadays, it’s all viral internet campaigns and pop-up shops, but times weren’t always so simple. Without the internet, without VR experiences – without today’s “developed” advantages – marketing pros relied on much simpler means to drive their product. Maybe a music video featuring a movie character jamming with rockstars of the era? Maybe some dial-a-character telephone gimmick? An awards show skit? In any case, old-school marketing departments were forced to create imaginative Hollywood tie-ins with only half our society’s current means. That’s obvious to us old folks, but younger generations may forget!

I give you that background to introduce you to my latest quest – to hunt down the horror genre’s most wild, irreplicable videos featuring genre icons forced into promotional crossover buffoonery. But why stop there? As I dragged the internet’s depths, even better content presented itself. Horror’s biggest names shoehorned into commercials and singing on Saturday Night Live. I can’t not share that, right?

So I dug into the “lost but not forgotten” pile of extracurricular B-roll featuring some conceptually insane horror icon appearances. These are the best of the best. You may have found some already yourself – or experienced them live – while others will hopefully raise an eyebrow. In any case, enjoy this obscure collection of horror icons doing the darndest things that don’t involve killing.

Just wait until you hit “Freddy in Japan.” You guys. GUYS.

1. Chucky Insults Rick Steiner and Mean Gene on WCW Monday Nitro 

As an enthusiastic wrestling fan and steadfast Child’s Play protester in my youth, Chucky’s cameo during a Monday Nitro segment was quite conflicting. At the time, I was horrified. Looking back? I can appreciate what a bizarre appearance it was. Chucky – projected on the arena’s megatron – defending Scott “Big Poppa Pump” Steiner and ridiculing his brother, the leather-clad Bulldog (greatest jacket in wrestling?).

Don Mancini’s creation had no dog in any WCW fight, but how better to work in a violent threat against both Rick Steiner and Mean Gene Okerlund? Chucky’s dialogue stinks of pre-recorded timing, syncing responses with a live-TV awkwardness – yet it entertains nonetheless (certainly not Chuckster’s weirdest appearance, as you’ll see). “Get that dummy out of here!” shouts Mean Gene. Rick Steiner staring in confusion as Chucky cackles and threatens to twist his head off, eventually leading to a Bride Of Chucky plug.

Points for Brad Dourif’s voice, points for calling Rick Steiner a “genetic throwback that barks.” Maybe next time get Chucky in the ring?!

2. Chucky Drops by Weekend Update to Talk Politics and Kill Colin Quinn 

Another Bride Of Chucky tie-in, but this one’s a bit off-brand.

During one of SNL’s wackiest Weekend Update segments, Chucky – fully suited – joins Colin Quinn to discuss…the Clinton fellatio scandal? You can immediately hear it’s not Brad Dourif, and even though the bit appears live, it’s even more awkwardly paced than the WCW stunt. Cue Chucky launching into a speech about how Clinton has more-or-less been scrutinized enough, followed by a pro-oral-sex joke from a schmoozing Chucky whose delivery is flatter than a stashed liter of Crystal Pepsi.

Then Chucky whips out a knife and attempts to “kill” Quinn (asking his co-host to “get a beer” beforehand), only to be carried away by Horatio Sanz. Not exactly the motivated Chucky we’re used to.

3. That Creepy Robot in Daft Punk’s 2005 Music Video For “Technologic?” A Chucky Sighting! 

Here’s one for the “Wait, what?!” files.  Chucky once starred in a Daft Punk music video! Go back and give “Technologic” a watch. See that creepy-lookin’ skeleton of an animatronic dummy? That’s none other than a skinned, stripped-down Chucky model from Seed of Chucky. It’s more of a behind-the-scenes kind of feel with some funk tunes, but it’s a rare look into what makes Chucky tick under the overalls and freckles. Still creepy as hell, only defined by gummy chompers and eyebrow movements.

4. Cenobites Rock Out With Motörhead in Hellraiser Music Video

Ugh, I seriously miss when horror movies often signed big-name talent to write theme songs. We’ll get to Freddy and The Fat Boys, but first let’s start with Pinhead and the God of rock-n-roll incarnate, Lemmy Kilmister. Cenobites squaring off against a man who’s now probably drinking the Devil under a table just for fun, whiskey in one hand, and middle finger clenched in the other – just like he gives to Pinhead in this video (off camera).

Motörhead are playing what looks like a private show for Pinhead and his cronies when a scraggly, stereotyped metal fan sits in front of them. Pinhead grabs the kid and probably gives him a stern chat (jk he tortures his soul into oblivion), Lemmy gets pissed, he beats Pinhead in a hand of cards (4 Aces, and don’t forget the Joker!), boom goes the middle finger, motorcycles rev, and a horror legend is left cursing Motörhead’s name.

Lemmy, the only man should could make Pinhead look like some posh Bret Michaels lame-o. RIP.

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