“Mayonaise. Nom nom nom.”

ism.jpgPssssssst, put your ear up to the monitor. Here that? That’s the sound of so many strikes at a bowling alley. Brett Ratner and Eddie Murphy: together at last for a presumably plastic potty-humored family comedy! Ratner is in talks to helm a remake of the 1957 movie The Incredible Shrinking Man for Universal, with Murphy circling the lead. The script is by Thomas Lennon and Reno 9-11‘s Robert Ben Garant (The Pacifier, Night at the Museum), and HR reports that it tells the tale of a Las Vegas magician who falls under a spell that causes him to lure ’00s Eddie Murphy gradually shrink to the point of disappearing. Brian Grazer will produce.

In related but not related discussion, where this leaves Ratner’s biopic about Hugh Hefner is unforeseen. Rick Moranis has not yet chimed in on his feelings about Ratner invading his “shrink” territory. I predict $200 million at the box office, and $230 mill if there’s a talking dog, cat, bumble bee and/or Murphy rides on top of said creatures. Sleep soundly tonight imagining what Ratner’s vision for a “Las Vegas magician” will look like.

Discuss: If you were forced to choose between watching one Ratner movie Clockwork Orange-style non-stop for three months or lopping off your pinkie after four huge margaritas, which? And Money Talks is excluded.