77-72. Jason’s Jailbreak

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Private Johnson, Dr. Wimmer, Sergeant Marcus, and three unnamed soldiers

The Gory Details: Yes, that is acclaimed filmmaker David Cronenberg as Dr. Wimmer, a scientist who wants to use an imprisoned Jason Voorhees to advance medical technology (because he can’t die, you see). Unfortunately, he picked the wrong time to pay a visit and he’s slaughtered (impaled with a noose pole!) alongside his entire military escort in a gory, goofy, and well-staged action sequence.

71. Subterranean Assault

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Mike

The Gory Details: Not being able to see Jason doesn’t mean he still can’t kill you. He may be lurking in the basement, ready to shove his machete through the floorboards and destroy your feet. This happens to poor Mike, whose legs are soon completely decimated, allowing Jason to pull him through the floor toward an untimely death.

70. Bullseye!

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

The Victim: Officer Thornton

The Gory Details: Jason throws a dark so hard that it hits Officer Thornton in the head and sends him flying backward.

69. Baby, You’ve Got a Stew Going

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

The Victim: Ethel Hubbard

The Gory Details: The Friday the 13th movies have their fair share of cartoonish redneck characters, but the Hubbard clan have the rest of them beat. Ethel Hubbard is cooking up some dinner when faux-Jason machetes her right in the head, putting her facedown in her pot of stew while her lifeless hand squeezes a tomato until it pops. Strangely, this is not the first time one of this series’ victims has death-squeezed fruit.

68. Death by 1989

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Eva

The Gory Details: Pursued into a shitty nightclub on board a shitty cruise linger, Eva is strangled by Jason (who mysteriously teleports around the room to cut off every avenue of escape) while crappy music blasts on the soundtrack and reminders that this movie is set in the ’80s populate every possible corner of every frame.

67. Put On Your Poker Face

The Film: Friday the 13th Part III

The Victim: Chili

The Gory Details: Stoner lady Chili is impaled by a red hot fireplace poker. Simple. Effective. Gets the job done.

66. Never Talk to Dream Caterpillars

The Film: Freddy vs. Jason

The Victim: Freeburg

The Gory Details: This is a weird one. Freeburg, a stoner not-so-subtly modeled on Jason Mewes’ Jay character from Kevin Smith’s filmography, falls asleep, meets an evil dream caterpillar, gets possessed by Freddy Krueger, and then gets chopped completely in half by Jason Voorhees. The final effect is hindered by that awful fake slow motion, but it’s pretty wild.

65. But Did You Have to Ruin the Banana?

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

The Victim: Hitchhiker

The Gory Details: The unnamed hitchhiker getting stabbed through the back of the neck is perfectly gruesome, but it’s her death grip on her banana that sells the awfulness of the moment.

64. That’s Bait

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Lawrence

The Gory Details: Here’s what happens when you have a backbone in a Friday the 13th movie. You rush out to save a friend in peril and get an axe thrown into your back for your effort. And if you’re still alive, Jason keeps you breathing and uses your screams as bait. Poor Lawrence. Poor, brave, stupid Lawrence.

63. Aren’t You the Final Girl?

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Jenna

The Gory Details: Wait, isn’t Jenna the “Final Girl” of the Friday the 13th remake? Isn’t she supposed to be alive when the credits roll? Nah. She gets stabbed from behind by Jason’s machete ten minutes before the end in one of the film’s best twists.

62. The Head Crush Memorial Stretch, Part One

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

The Victim: Officer Pappas

The Gory Details: Welcome to the Friday the 13th Head Crush Memorial Stretch, where we’ll honor the best of the series’ many head crushings! First up is Officer Pappas, whose head crush is mostly unseen but works thanks to some particularly icky sound effects.

61. The Head Crush Memorial Stretch, Part Two

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: Dallas

The Gory Details: Next up is Dallas, a tough space marine (played by screenwriter Todd Farmer) who has his head casually smashed against the wall by Jason.

60. The Head Crush Memorial Stretch, Part Three

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

The Victim: Doug

The Gory Details: Next up is Doug, whose face is smooshed into the shower wall by Jason. While not as gory as other kills in the series, there’s something inherently disturbing (and maybe a little bit funny) about Jason’s hand literally digging into his face after the shower tiles stop giving in.

59. The Head Crush Memorial Stretch, Part Four

The Film: Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

The Victim: Eddie

The Gory Details: For a more effective head crush, bring a leather strap! Faux-Jason wraps one around Eddie’s head and pulls him against a tree to gruesome effect.

58. The Head Crush Memorial Stretch, Part Five

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

The Victim: Nikki

The Gory Details: And that takes us to Nikki, who finds herself battling Jason (and her boyfriend’s bad driving) in the back of a moving RV. It all culminates with her head being literally pushed through the wall of the vehicle, leaving an indentation in the shape of her screaming face. Yeeesh.

57-56. Jason Interrupts Freddy Krueger

The Film: Freddy vs. Jason

The Victims: Gibb and Frisell

The Gory Details: Gibb has passed out at the cornfield rave and is being stalked in her dreams by Freddy Krueger. Frisell, a douchebag with bleached hair and an outfit consisting mostly of glowsticks, decides to get inappropriate with her. Both Freddy and Frisell’s attempts to take advantage of Gibb come to an abrupt end when Jason enters the scene and imaples both of them with a pipe. The kills are pretty good, but Freddy’s frustration at this big lug interrupting his big moment elevates it all.

55. Projecting Much?

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

The Victim: Ted

The Gory Details: Film projectors are inherently cinematic, so Ted getting stabbed through a projector screen and leaving a trail of blood as he slides down to his death is inherently cinematic. The whirring of the projector itself lends the scene a creepy aural ambiance.

54. College Students Roasting on an Open Fire

The Film: Friday the 13th (2009)

The Victim: Amanda

The Gory Details: File this one under “personal nightmare.” Amanda is tied up in her sleeping bag and hoisted over a campfire, where she slowly roasts to death. Spared no humiliation, her charred corpse falls from the bag and lands on the ground with a thud.

53. A Space Cataclysm

The Film: Jason X

The Victim: The entire population of the Solaris space station

The Gory Details: Remember when we talked about Jason killing the pilot of the Grendel, the spaceship where he does most of his killing in Jason X? Well, that leaves the ship without a pilot, so it careens through the Solaris space station, doing untold damage and leading the entire station exploding in a delightfully hokey fireball. Who knows how many thousands of people died a sudden death because a zombie redneck serial killer from 450 years earlier decided to start rampaging around a spaceship! This is insane.

52. Where We’re Axing, We Don’t Need Doors

The Film: Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter

The Victim: Sara

The Gory Details: Sara flees downstairs, looking over her shoulder and expecting the man who has been killing her friends to appear at any moment. She should have been looking the other way, as an axe literally flies through the door, taking her down in an instant.

51. Getting Your Rocks Off

The Film: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

The Victim: Unnamed Boxer

The Gory Details: He doesn’t even have a name, but the unnamed boxer gets one of the best deaths in one of the worst Friday the 13th movies when Jason lunges a burning hot sauna rock right into his chest.

***

In true ’80s slasher movie fashion, we’re going to wrap all of this up in a sequel. Click right here to check out the top 50 Friday the 13th kills!

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