WEEDS (season 5)

In our latest wrap-up and discussion of Weeds—a show where it’s increasingly rare to see characters puffing the titular herb, mind you—we take a look at season cinco’s third episode, “Su-Su-Sucio.” After we found ourselves not so much stunned as exhausted and turned-off by the previous ep’s k-hole of casual misery (and forced entry), we were glad to kick back with a breezier follow-up. “Sucio” was filled with hugs, laffs, morning sex, and welcome family admission and reconciling between the MILFy sisters above. (Wait, we didn’t mean they had sex.) Sure, there were a few splotches of mysterious blood, but as with Nancy Botwin (Mary-Louise Parker), any blood in this ep came to symbolize relief (her blood) and a fast break (that dude’s). Spoiler alert from here on. I’ve included the plot synopsis for next week’s ep, “Super Lucky Happy,” at the bottom…

After expressing surprise and disappointment at Nancy’s gyno being Mexican and not Jewish—hey, that’s racist like Transformers 2!Andy fires a string of signature quips at her quasi-lover Esteban, the Mexican druglord-politico. Does this celebrated smartass have a death wish or what? At first it’s surprising that Esteban, who is over-compensating these days like Aqua Velva, doesn’t go full-berzerkers on Andy for attending his private Ultrasound appointment. But as the gyno informs the room, Nancy needs to lead a more “relaxing” life for the sake of their demon-spawn. Thus, Andy’s presence adds to the security of his baby. Esteban still refuses his handshake and to laugh at his jokes however. Fuckin’ prick. It’s good to see Andy stand up for Nancy against such a powerful guy. I got the sense that he likes it too.

Andy also likes to shag Nancy’s older sister, and for once it’s Nancy who is calling a girl a slut. Kettle none more black? After Andy informs Nancy that he’s getting action-in-the-family, the sis, Jill Price-Gray, drops by to unload her bright-eyed nephew Shane. Of course, it’s also an excuse for Jill to satiate her curiosity about her estranged sister’s life and outlook. And get laid again. If it wasn’t California, it would seem pretty weird as we watch Nancy and Shane peer in on Jill and Andy getting busy, seemingly enjoying the awkward thrill as they reach O. Yeah, it’s still weird. But for once, you can’t blame Shane for being a sick voyeur—he obviously gets it from his moms.

WEEDS (season 5)

Lots of fans are already predicting that Nancy’s saving-grace from Esteban will be his psychopathic henchman, Cesar (actor Enrique Castillo). In the last ep, “Machetes Up Top,” Nancy escapes Cesar after introducing him to a Korean mani-pedi day (that’s what girlfriends are for amigo, not hostages) complete with skin-eating fish (he probably bonded with them). Cesar doesn’t talk a lot, but he’s always thinking about murder and power, and slowly but surely Nancy seems to be growing on him. Would the cool-and-hot Nancy make a good sub-boss or associate? Would she make a good coat? One can come before the other. And it appears that Cesar needs time to sort this out, as he leaves Nancy’s side after introducing her to a new psycho bodyguard/human garbage can.

The new human garbage can goes by Sucio. The Phil Collins‘s joke at Sucio’s expense has nothing on The Hangover, he doesn’t speak the language, and he’s presumably murdered before the episode ends. We’re jumping ahead: Like a girl, Nancy takes Sucio to her outside shower and instructs him on how to bathe. When she returns with a loofah (fulfilling his life long dream?), there is blood on the ground and his steaming heap of clothes remain. It’s actually pretty fucked up, but Nancy doesn’t light a joint and grab a shotgun like a snow white Foxy Brown, she’s thinking domesticated: carpool + roadtrip.

WEEDS (season 5)

Before they all take off, Jill and Nancy have a heart-to-heart. The acting in this scene was great, and a highlight of the season so far. Jill lets it all out that it was wrong of Nancy to bail on her as their parents’ health declined, and wronger still to not help with funeral arrangements. Jill softly demands to know what Nancy is really up to; she admits that being a housewife blows and that she imagines trading places. It’s then that Esteban calls Nancy to confirm she’s “relaxing.” Nancy is like, yeah, well, your goon is a blood stain and I think Guillermo (his peoples) is to blame. Esteban doesn’t freak. He tells her to find a hotel and he “reassures” her that if it was Guillermo she’d be the stain.

Who could the mop-less assassin be then? The killer is deft at his/her job. No noise in killing a naked thug? No worrying over the evidence, which is oft a Central American crime tradition. As the episode ends, we see DEA Captain Roy Till (actor Jack Stehlin) staking out the Botwin family. Esteban had his partner murdered last season, and ever since, he’s seemed on the breaking point. Do you think Till killed Sucio in hopes that Esteban would show up? If not, did he witness the snuff happen, and who was behind it? Ironically, on a show about drugs and the blackmarket, the DEA doesn’t seem like much of a threat anymore, at least to me. Hopefully Nancy realizes that her taboo soap opera is not mutually exclusive of the American legal system.

Silas and Doug: The show’s stoners are attempting to open a legit medi-weed establishment. With a little greasing of the local wheel, it seems possible.

Celia: Incoherent, dazed, the usual, and put on a bus to Texas. At this Waldo-like juncture, I think creator Jenji Kohan should send Celia around the world. Oh look, she’s in Tokyo. Oh look, Manilla. Oh look, Celia’s at Comic-Con dressed like Slave Leia. Why the fuck not?

Next Week’s Synopsis: Nancy is paid a visit by rogue DEA agent Roy Till and must decide his fate. Meanwhile, Celia finally arrives stateside and sets up camp in Nancy’s garage. Andy discovers an old bank account under Judah’s name and must find a way to access it. Silas and Doug use their new law enforcement connection, Deputy C.P. Jones, to strong-arm a lease for their medical marijuana dispensary.

Weeds airs Mondays at 10 p.m. ET/PT on Showtime. For Hunter’s article on the first two episodes of season five, “Wonderful Wonderful” and “Machetes Up Top,” click here.

Hunter Stephenson can be reached at h.attila[@]gmail.com and on Twitter.

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