Now Scream This: The Best Horror Movies To Watch On Valentine's Day

Matt: Is there anything sexier than Tom Atkins in a massively gory slasher remake? My Bloody Valentine (2009) is the most fun I've ever had in a normal movie theater setting, as my Friday night screening devolved into a raucous midnighter by virtue of content alone. This movie cuts your heart out and serves it on a silver platter (quite gruesomely), while also allowing Jensen Ackles a chance to color outside his normal performative lines. It's not the sharpest pick-ax in the mine, but for my money, a worthy watch for couples who crave a quintessential Valentine's Day massacre (and have already seen the original).Chris: Lots of gory fun here, and plenty of scenes featuring my favorite kind of 3D cliche: Stuff FLYING DIRECTLY AT THE CAMERA. Look out! 

Matt: Is there anything more chivalrous than Micah Sloat's undying love for Katie Featherston in Paranormal Activity? Sure, it may be one of the reasons Toby gets so angry and aggressive, but no underworld demon is gonna possess Micah's woman! Well, or so he hopes, which we know goes helplessly awry. It's a valiant white-knight effort, Micah. All those dude-bro aggression and threats towards a blanket-hog demon. If only Cupid's arrow could pierce and slay entities who do not appear to the naked eye.Chris: This movie still holds up. The many sequels? Ehhh, not so much. Still, it's crazy to think that from this tiny little film, Blumhouse sprung forth. 

Matt: Colm McCarthy's Scottish werewolf tale about young love is everything Valentine's Day is about. Forbidden romance, beastly awakenings in fits of passion, Celtic black magic partners who hunt and slay together. Outcast features supporting appearances by Kate Dickie, James Nesbitt, and Karen Gillan, but leading charisma between Niall Bruton and Hanna Stanbridge is what drives home adoring chemistry. As their heartstrings intertwine, bodies pile up with the appearance of some nightly creature stalker that represents more than a simple horror monster. As an indie representation of love in all its forms and what "dangers" such emotions can unleash, Outcast is more than those ho-hum riffs you've seen pounded out countless times before.Chris: I could make an extremely dated "Hey Ya!" joke here, but I won't. Anyway, I haven't seen this. 

Matt: You wanna talk about true love? How about having your brain transplanted into an animatronic dinosaur and not scaring your girlfriend away. Yes, you've read those words in the correct order. Tammy And The T-Rex is about Paul Walker's quest to return his squishy cranial tissue into his human body, while currently powering a mechanical dinosaur prop that schoolyard crush Denise Richards still loves with all her heart. Such tender moments between a rubber Jurassic stage prop and an inspiringly committed Richards, as mad scientists are crushed into bloody pulp in the name of unstoppable romance (John Carl Buechler's work). This movie is a rare trashterpiece that also works as an unexpected recommendation for couples, so how can I resist? Come for the possessed Tyrannosaurus, stay for the slapstick mortuary sequence when trying to find a new flesh sack for Walker's thinking muscle – only a fraction of the weirdness at hand. Chris: This is in my queue, and I'll get around to it sooner or later! How can I resist?

Matt: I may have recommended Spring in the past, but consider this your yearly reminder that Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead have cornered the market on "love is a monster" storytelling. Lou Taylor Pucci and Nadia Hilker are divine in their romantic Lovecraftian attraction, embracing the madness that is everlasting devotion. Looking someone (or something) in the eyes and accepting their flaws is so powerful, especially given the alarmist narrative Benson and Moorhead explore. Spring is required Valentine's Day viewing for genre fans worth their salt. I'll be back here year after year saying the same ding-dang-doodly thing until every last one of you watches this perfect ode to untamable feelings. I suggest you listen.Chris: A stone-cold classic. Such a sweet, romantic, unique film. Love it. 

Chris: "People will say we're in love." So says Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins) during one of the several visits paid to him by FBI trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster). Beneath all its ghoulish gore and nightmare imagery, The Silence of the Lambs is a love story – a beauty and the beast tale, in which a young woman and a horrible monster become intertwined. Jonathan Demme's adaptation of Thomas Harris's pulpy novel remains as fantastic now as ever – one of those rare "perfect movies" that fires on all cylinders, and never makes a misstep. And at the center of it all is that magnetic relationship between Hannibal and Clarice. How romantic (sort of). Matt: Liver might not appease everyone's palate, but fava beans and a nice chianti are a romantic touch I guess? 

Chris: May is a portrait of loneliness. Poor, awkward May Dove Canady (Angela Bettis) has virtually no friends, and certainly no love interest. That changes when May meets Adam (Jeremy Sisto), a handsome dude with very nice hands. Hands so nice that May become fixated on them. But Adam's hands aren't the only things May develops a fetish for over the course of the film, and little by little, director Lucky McKee builds something unique and disturbing. McKee has made films since this, but none of them live up to the brilliance here. Matt: I know, I know. I need to watch May. Stop rubbing it in.

Chris: Audition is the ultimate romantic movie...if you turn it off at a certain point. Takashi Miike's brutal horror flick follows a widower (Ryo Ishibashi) who begins literally auditioning young women to be his new wife. He thinks he's found her in Asami (Eihi Shiina), who seems too good to be true. But the more the two date, the more it becomes clear that Asami has some dark, dark secrets. If you've somehow managed to avoid seeing Audition after all these years, go into this as blind as possible.Trust me. Matt: Chris I'm worried about your wife.

Chris: Lizzie might be a bit too slow for some, but I was hypnotized by this strange, bloody romance. Chloë Sevigny is Lizzie Borden – of "took an ax" nursery rhyme fame – and Kristen Stewart is the Borden family maid Bridgett Sullivan. The two enter into an awkward but tender romance against the backdrop of the oppressive, abusive Borden home. Of course, anyone who knows history knows where this story is going. And Lizzie does eventually get there, in truly gorey fashion. Sevigny and Stewart are perfectly matched here, and Stewart in particular brings an raw humanity to her part. Matt: I...was not impressed by Lizzie. Chloë Sevigny and Kristen Stewart share some tremendous chemistry in select scenes, but the entire production is otherwise lifeless and dreadfully stuffy.

Chris: I mean, obviously, you can't have a Valentine's Day-themed horror list without Tremors! It's such a sexy, romantic movie, perfect to watch with the one you love! Okay, look, I'll be honest. Tremors isn't really romantic, I just thought it would be very funny to include it on this list. Also: Tremors rules. Kevin Bacon! Fred Ward! Graboids! You can't go wrong. So turn on Tremors, cuddle-up with your significant other, and celebrate Valentine's Day as the good lord intended. Matt: You know what? Love in a time of Graboids. I dig it. Hell yeah Tremors is a Valentine's Day movie (if you're cool enough).