A few days ago Rob Zombie was said to be up for the skull-and-horn adorned director’s chair on the 2009 Lionsgate tent-pole Conan. The plethora of dried blood and fur, swords, mating calls and battle cries that drenched my imagination when I heard this rumor was lovely. Zombie could do both the classic barbaric character and John Milius’s wild original film supreme justice. Of course, now we now know that Zombie’s next film will be Tyrannosaurus Rex, with word growing that it’s a hardcore flick about bikers, set for late summer 2009. No Conan for him.

Another name swirling in the rumor mill is Xavier Gens, who helmed the flashy video game flick Hitman. I do not want to see Gens’s $100 million Conan. He needs to sharpen his teeth hard on non-iconic material like Vanikoro first. The other name circulating right now is Neil Marshall, who batted a nice fanboy double with Dog Soldiers and the cave-horror crowd pleaser The Descent.

Marshall’s Mad Max-meets-cliche-apocalyptic-virus semi-epic Doomsday opens in March, and I’m sure its reception on the Net will play into his chances for the Conan gig. If the producers wish to wait that long. At 38 and with his career on the come up, we still haven’t seen Marshall’s biggest visions, but his work thus far has focused too much on the visceral and there’s a British B-movie filter at play that doesn’t work for me for this flick. What a Conan epic needs is a director who will not compromise at all, like Milius. You know that scene in Conan the Barbarian where Arnold is nailed to a cross, and suddenly his eyes explode and he rips into the neck of a lingering vulture with no-hands and keeps biting until it makes you shockingly hungry? I remember seeing that and going “Note to self, I have never and will never see that again in a movie.”

That’s what I feel Zombie would have brought (here come the “redneck profanity doesn’t belong in the Hyborian Age” quips.). To me this film is not about the action, it’s about the R-rating and the most gung-ho macho expression fathomable. If Marshall or Gens snags it, my attention automatically refocuses on Matthew Vaughn’s shoot-the-moon take on Thor.

Who do you want to bring Conan back?

New Hitman Movie Trailer


In June, we posted the teaser trailer the big screen adaptation of the hit video game Hitman. I complained that it failed to impress me, and got almost 70 comments in agreement. The new trailer, which can be seen after the jump, impresses me a little more. The cinematography looks pretty impressive, but not much else. I thought the whole point in the game was to be sneaky, and remain quiet and undetected? The movie looks like it’s loud and full of explosions, flash and style but no substance (hey, sometimes this formula can result into a fun action flick, so we’ll have to see).

In the movie, Timothy Olyphant plays Agent 47, a professional assassin for hire, who is ensnared in a political conspiracy, which finds him pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe. hired by a group known as “The Agency” to kill targets for cash. Hitman is helmed by french director Xavier Gens. The movie is scheduled to hit theaters on October 17th 2007.

Check out the trailer after the jump.
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Hitman Movie Trailer Fails to Impress

HitmanThe first movie trailer for 20th Century Fox’s big screen adaptation of the popular video game Hitman is now online. I’m not a big gamer, but have been around video games all my life. And making a feature film based on the Hitman concept seemed like a no-brainer. Most video games don’t have a good enough concept, never-mind story, which has resulted in many horrible feature films. That said, why am I getting the same awful feeling that I always get while watching bad video game adaptations? May-be it’s the cheesy titles that jump on screen. Am I wrong? Was I expecting too much? For the record, it’s not Uwe Boll quality bad – but definitely disappointing.

Check out the trailer after the jump. Note, the trailer will also be attached to Live Free or Die Hard. So if you would rather watch it on the big screen, you only need to wait a couple more days. Read More »