Pinheads and Candymen: All Clive Barker Movies Ranked

hellraiser

Last week was the 25th anniversary of Candyman, and one horrendous physical effect aside, it still holds up beautifully today. Key among of strengths is a trait shared through almost all of the fiction written by horror author Clive Barker and the films that bring his work to the screen – a wicked, dark, and endless imagination.

From the earliest of his features in 1985 to the latest in 2009, they’ve run the gamut from instantly forgettable to instant classic, and while the stories are varied, that common thread between them remains. He creates worlds both gorgeous and grotesque, sometimes on the same page or frame. Ideally, he’ll soon see an adaptation resurgence similar to the one Stephen King is currently enjoying.

Until then, though, there are nine legitimate Clive Barker movies that are based on his work or feature his direct involvement, not counting sequels, shorts, and outliers. (Quicksilver Highway is an anthology only partially based on his work, The Plague sees him attached only as a producer, and Saint Sinner borrows the name from one of his comics but uses nothing from the plot.) So while we daydream a Hulu series based on The Great and Secret Show, a Guillermo del Toro adaptation of the brilliant “In the Hills, the Cities,” or Barker’s overdue return to the director’s chair with a face-off between Pinhead and Harry D’Amour in The Scarlet Gospels, these are the movies we’re left with… So why not rank them?

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Underworld TV series

Grab your leather pants and blue light bulbs, the oft-rumored Underworld TV series is still happening. At least, that’s what Underworld mastermind Len Wiseman says. So if you haven’t had enough of vampires vs. werewolves inside a Matrix simulator, you’re in luck! There’s more coming your way, on a weekly basis! Sink your fangs into more details about the Underworld TV series below.

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underworld blood wars trailer

Holy shit, they actually made five Underworld movies.

I mean…did you know that there were five Underworld movies? I think everyone knew that there were two or three of them, maybe a fourth one. But nooo. Over the course of 13 years, the Powers That Be have quietly made five movies where Kate Beckinsale plays a black leather corset-wearing vampire who shoots werewolves in the face while respectable British actors ham it up on the sidelines. How did that happen?

Anyway, a new Underworld Blood Wars trailer has arrived and it’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect from a new Underworld movie.

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Underworld: Blood Wars trailer

The Underworld franchise is now over 13 years old. The fifth installment in the series, Underworld: Blood Wars, isn’t another prequel like Underworld: Rise of the Lycans; it’s another sequel following Selene (Kate Beckinsale), a vampire with a deep fondness for tight black leather and a real knack for disposing of Lycans. At first, Underworld: Blood Wars was going to be a reboot, but Beckinsale decided to return to her role for the fourth time.

Below, watch the Underworld: Blood Wars trailer.

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Underworld Blood Wars Trailer - Kate Beckinsale

It’s hard to believe, but we’re coming up on the fifth film in the Underworld franchise. Originally, this sequel started out as a reboot that Kate Beckinsale wasn’t going to be involved in, but the actress returned to the lead role as Selene, and the movie was retooled as just another sequel. Now the first trailer for Underworld: Blood Wars has arrived, and you’ll see that it’s not much different than the first Underworld movie from all the way back in 2003.

Watch the first Underworld Blood Wars trailer after the jump. Read More »

‘Underworld: Blood Wars’ Delayed to 2017

Underworld Blood Wars

The Lycans and the vampires will have to wait a little longer for their next showdown. Screen Gems has pushed Underworld: Blood Wars out of the 2016 Halloween season and all the way into 2017. The fifth installment in the action horror franchise is directed by Anna Foerster (Starz’ Outlander). Kate Beckinsale once again stars as vampire Selene, and Theo James returns from Underworld: Awakening as David.  Read More »

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – ROGUE NATION

After the jump:

  • Underworld 5 gets a new title and a new logo.
  • Nut Job 2 makes off with a summer 2017 release date.
  • Tom Cruise promises more crazy stunts in Mission: Impossible 6.
  • No, Indiana Jones 5 is not a prequel, and no, we aren’t getting a new Indy.
  • Neighbors 2 took inspiration from an unlikely source.
  • Vin Diesel sings with a gospel choir on the set of xXx 3.
  • Robert Carlyle (a.k.a. Begbie) teases Trainspotting 2.
  • Andrew Stanton drops some hints about The Incredibles 2.

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underworld

Director Len Wiseman is currently working on the Die Hard sequel/prequel, Die Hard Year One, which will cut back and forth between modern day and 1978. Wiseman is working on a few other projects, though, including the Underworld TV show and an action movie that involves ghosts.

Learn more about the projects after the jump.

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Kate Beckinsale in Underworld Awakening

The Lycans and the Vampires are at it again. Sony has just announced the start of production on Underworld 5Kate Beckinsale is back as Selene, whom she’s been playing since 2003, along with a few other familiar faces including Theo James and Charles Dance. Get all the details on Underworld 5 after the jump. Read More »

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Movies Being Adapted Into TV Shows

TV companies are going crazy trying to mine film libraries for the next big television series, because why come up with an original untested idea without an established brand name title, right? I almost included the movie to television series trend in my 9 Current Movie and Television Trends I Hate article last month, but I decided it was too soon to make that judgement.

While I’m already tired of seeing the announcements, I really loved Fargo (and I really mean LOVED — it’s my favorite television series of the year), I’m still enjoying Friday Night Lights/Parenthood showrunner Jason Katims‘ About a Boy, and I know many people who really dig Hannibal, Bates Motel, and From Dusk till Dawn: The Series. So it’s hard for me to condemn it at this point.  And yes there are also GothamConstantine and Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but I consider those shows comic book adaptations.

You might be shocked to learn that there are currently over 30 television shows in development right now based on big screen movies. Which are good ideas? Which sound horrible? After the jump, I attempt to rank all of the movies being adapted into TV shows, by concept from worst to most promising ideas.

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