Mr Robot

The folks behind the Papillon remake faced the massive challenging of finding an actor worthy of succeeding Steve McQueen in the lead role, and eventually they decided Charlie Hunnam was the guy to do it. Now they’ve moved on to filling the Dustin Hoffman role, and this time they’ve got their eyes on a small-screen standout. Mr. Robot‘s Rami Malek is reportedly looking to join the film being directed by Michael Noer (Northwest) from a script by Aaron Guzikowski (Prisoners).  Read More »

papillon remake

The big problem with remaking any movie that starred Steve McQueen is that you have to, you know, find someone to play a role that was played by Steve McQueen. So the newly announced remake of the prison escape drama Papillon is already at a creative deficit. 2015 does not breed men like McQueen – it breeds men who are fit to be the guy McQueen beats up in the first scene to prove what a tough customer he is! We jest of course, but come on. It’s going to be hard to find an actor from any time period who’s that cool.

The official report on the Papillon remake doesn’t contain any clues about when or if Hollywood will try to clone Steve McQueen, but you can parse through the details yourself after the jump.

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Who’s the next Steve McQueen? The answer, of course, is Brendan Fraser aka no one. Hollywood producers Branko Lustig (American Gangster, Schlinder’s List) and John J. Kelly (Into the Wild) are developing a $90 million remake of the 1973 prison-break classic, Papillon, that starred a gruff McQueen and Dustin Hoffman in cool glasses. According to the trades, the lavish budget will be funded by “tax-driven investments from Spain’s Canary Islands,” where the film will be primarily shot. A director, a screenwriter and a reasonable justification for remaking this film have not been decided. Papillon currently has an 8.0 on IMDB after, oh, 20,000+ votes, and it ranks with Cool Hand Luke for one of the better Man vs Society tales where the resilient human spirit is put through absolute hell.

Who’s the next cornrowed Bo Derek in 10? The answer, of course, is Martin Lawrence as Big Momma but Hollywood has decided to give it another go and remake the 1979 old-dude-gets-lucky-hates-it movie that spawned countless posters, beachy affairs and Chris Farley Step-MILF fantasies. Blake Edwards, who directed the original, has handed over the rights and will co-produce alongside Ashok Amritraj and Patrick Aiello (that new Street Fighter). Hey ladies/Lohans: “They hope to engage in a global search for a newcomer to play the new 10.”

Like, MGM will, like, reenvision the ’80s punk cult classic, Valley Girl, as a nostalgic ’80s musical. Like, tripendicular, like like like, Hollywood is so original. The non-musical starred Nic Cage as a Hollywood punk who swoons a Valley Girl intrigued by the “gutter life” played by Deborah Foreman (who also slayed as Muffy (Buffy?) in April Fool’s Day. Man, what happened to the name Muffy?). Further details were not given.

Discuss: Sigh.