‘The Canyons’ Trailer: Atrocious Acting, 1950s-Style

Paul Schrader and Bret Easton EllisThe Canyons was never going for subtlety or elegance, and the marketing seems to be having some fun playing up that fact. The first trailer was cut to mimic grindhouse and exploitation movies of the ’70s, whereas the latest one has been done up like black-and-white ’50s pulp. No indication yet on what style the actual movie will take — presumably it’ll be something a bit more contemporary — but for now we can give them kudos for trying something a little different with the teasers.

What we might not be able to give them credit for, if these trailers are any indication, is making a good movie. All the cheeky wink-winks can’t cover up the fact that The Canyons looks genuinely terrible. Perhaps we should’ve expected that when Schrader and Ellis cast porn star James Deen and the notoriously troubled Lindsay Lohan as the leads. Watch the trailer after the jump.

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Has Paul Schrader created a film that might have played at a theater his defining character Travis Bickle might have visited in Taxi Driver? Schrader directs The Canyons, written by Bret Eason Ellis and starring Lindsay Lohan and porn star James Deen. The first real trailer for the film is cut in a style meant to mimic classic exploitation or grind house style. Trouble is, the music and editing might be the most appealing thing about this footage. Read More »

The Lindsay Lohan career comeback tour is kicking off with Lifetime’s Liz & Dick, a small-screen movie about the volatile romance between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Lohan’s casting drew eyerolls, sighs, and giggles when it was announced back in April, and while the first stills and set photos weren’t so bad, it was tough to gauge how Lohan’s performance would actually turn out. Or, for that matter, whether the film around her would be any good.

Well, wonder no more because the first trailer has just arrived. And it looks more or less exactly like what you’d think an Elizabeth Taylor biopic on Lifetime starring Lindsay Lohan would look like. Watch it after the jump.

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My favorite Sequel Bits are the ones with a little something for everyone, like this one. After the jump:

  • Lindsay Lohan tries to get out of Scary Movie 5
  • Looks like Adele will be singing the Skyfall theme
  • Human Centipede 3 will have a 500-person chain
  • Lydia Hearst boards Cabin Fever: Patient Zero
  • Breaking Dawn Part 2 tickets to go on sale in October
  • See the Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning trailer
  • Maggie Grace goes on the run in a new Taken 2 clip
  • Paul W.S. Anderson would do a sixth Resident Evil

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One actor joins a sequel and teases a second, while a different actor dismisses a sequel and approves another. All that and more in this edition of Sequel Bits. After the jump read about the following:

  • Mel Gibson says he wouldn’t do a fifth Lethal Weapon and was at one point interested in doing Mad Max 4.
  • Speaking of Mad Max: Fury Road, an official plot synopsis has been revealed.
  • Christopher Mintz-Plasse has some choice adjectives for Kick-Ass 2.
  • Even more tributes have been cast in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire.
  • Gareth Evans tweeted a concept image from Berandal, the sequel to The Raid Redemption.
  • Expendables 2 and Newsroom star Terry Crews is joining Scary Movie 5 and seems confident Expendables 3 will happen.
  • The first two deaths of Scary Movie 5 have been confirmed.

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Happy Monday! In today’s comedy-heavy edition of Sequel Bits:

  • Dumb and Dumber 2 could shoot as early as next spring
  • American Reunion directors will return for the sequel
  • Charlie Sheen joins Lindsay Lohan in Scary Movie 5
  • Kick-Ass 2‘s marketing campaign kicks off with a new logo

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Sequel Bits is more badass than usual this time, with updates on skilled assassins, demonic heroes, costumed villains, and more. After the jump:

  • Watch Bruce Willis on the set of A Good Day to Die Hard
  • Alex Kurtzman talks about the villain’s central role in Star Trek 2
  • Lindsay Lohan is in talks for a part in Scary Movie 5
  • Christopher Mintz-Plasse won’t rape anyone in Kick-Ass 2
  • Matt Damon isn’t convinced he’s needed for Bourne 5
  • Guillermo del Toro still really, really wants to make Hellboy 3

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We’re still waiting to find out what comes of Bret Easton Elliscampaign to adapt E.L. James’ Fifty Shades of Grey, but in the meantime another of his projects is coming together with some attention-grabbing casting. Lindsay Lohan has just joined porn star James Deen in The Canyons, a sexual thriller that Taxi Driver writer Paul Schrader  is directing from Ellis’ script.

Between this and her role in Lifetime’s Liz & Dick, it appears that the former Mean Girls star really and truly is getting back to work. Provided she can stay out of jail, anyway. More about The Canyons after the jump.

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