Update: A rep for Britney Spears is saying the story is false.

All of Quentin Tarantino‘s future projects will be cast entirely using horror directors and washed up pop singers…

I’m kidding…

hopefully.

Last night it was announced that Eli Roth was cast in the World War II film Inglorious Basterds, and now the Telegraph reports that Britney Spears will play a killer lesbian stripper Varla in Tarantino’s remake of the 1965 cult film Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!

Now I understand Tarantino made a name for himself by casting against traditional standards, sometimes casting the forgotten Hollywood wash-up. Now it looks like he has set his sights outside the realm of acting, toward the music industry. The film tells the story of three thrill-seeking strippers. Spear’s character murders one member of a couple with her bare hands, and later has sex with another girl. The other two stripper leads have not yet been cast. Maybe Tarantino will sign Amy Winehouse… because, why not?

Thar she blows. Not Tera Patrick, the NY Post’s equally shameless Page Six, which reports that the porn starlet is in talks with Quentin Tarantino for his remake of Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill! Back in January, you may remember that the Post‘s Liz Smith reliably dished that Britney Spears, Eva Mendes and Kim Kardashian were all set to star in this forthcoming project, one that seemingly exists inside a dingleberry-shaped galaxy owned by Rupert Murdoch. Patrick expressed her thanks for the consideration, which was disclosed via an anonymous inside source, of course…

“It would be the hottest remake ever, and I’m honored to be considered,” Patrick told Page Six. “I was built for this part.”

The rumor is already making the online rounds like a graphic swap. Tarantino, who’s being thoroughly GawkStalked in NYC, is currently in pre-production on his WW2-meets-Our Dreams-meets-“modern” film, Inglorious Bastards. Recently, The RZA said he’s still in contact with QT about Kill Bill, but noted that the auteur’s been on a reclusive writer’s binge as of late. Hey, maybe he’s been on the hamburger phone with Patrick’s burger as well. We’ll be sure to keep you updated…and we apologize for the delay in (not)approving your filthy comments on this post.

Discuss: “I was built for this part.”

Reader’s Take: /Film Commenter, Justin, enlightens with, “Tera’s boobs are fake, though. Wouldn’t it behoove the creator of a Russ Meyer remake to find naturally big breasted ladies?” /Film agrees.