“Nothin’ But a Good Time” promises the tagline of Rock of Ages, referencing one of the two dozen or so classic ’80s rock songs its cast energetically deflates into innocuously pleasing sing-a-longs. It’s an admirably honest proclamation of the film’s limited aspirations, one which it fulfills with all the grace of a monkey hurling its own feces at the screen.

Credit where credit is due, Rock of Ages stops just shy of having literal monkey shit flung at its audience; although monkey sight gags are in fact a primary source of the film’s humor, should we choose to accept that the innumerable moments in which a trained monkey behaves contrary to that of an untrained monkey qualify as humor. Said hilarity includes but is not limited to: monkey wearing a dictator outfit, monkey throwing stuff, monkey not throwing stuff, monkey grinning, monkey screeching loudly, monkey having a silly name, monkey serving drinks, monkey not serving drinks, monkey doing other things that resemble what humans do, and homosexuality. That last one has nothing to do with any monkey related shenanigans, but apparently it’s just as noteworthy, as was evident from the fits of hysterical laughter that surrounded me when two male characters share an out-of-nowhere romantic musical number together — complete with obligatory make-out session. (A gay guy directed the film, so it’s okay to laugh!)

If all that, and Tom Cruise in assless chaps, sounds like a promising night of fun and laughs to you, Rock of Ages should prove more than serviceable. Granted, of course, that you’re also an advocate of the recent surge of jukebox musicals, none of which lend themselves very well to things like “story” and “character development”, but all of which feature songs you already know and enjoy and can sing the lyrics to, so who gives a fuck, right? Read More »

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Even if you’ve long since outgrown summer vacation, there’s just something about warmer weather that makes it tempting to put aside the heavy, thought-provoking stuff and look for a good, lighthearted laugh instead. If you’re curious what the upcoming season has in store for you on that front, hit the jump to check out new posters for The Dictator, Rock of Ages, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, and Neighborhood Watch.

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Let me say one thing first: this is the sort of role I think Tom Cruise does well. A variation on the arrogant, overbearing personality with a core of self-doubt has served him well in a few films here and there. So I hoped that playing big-time rock star Stacee Jaxx in Adam Shankman‘s ’80s cock rock jukebox musical Rock of Ages might work, too. But based on this new full-length trailer, I don’t think anything really works in Rock of Ages. I know there will be people who dig this, and given that it took time and effort to create I hope someone digs it. Go forth and have a great time, please. But I can’t lie: this one made me cringe more than I would have expected to.

Check out the trailer below. Read More »

For me, the best part of the trailer for Adam Shankman‘s Rock of Ages is the prominent display of the Motorhead logo in the first few seconds. After that it’s all downhill. The film adapts the stage ‘jukebox musical’ with Diego Boneta and Julianne Hough playing wide-eyed kids caught up in the mid-’80s LA rock scene. Well, they’re caught up in a vision of that scene, at least, as filtered through comedy, nostalgia and the parameters of the movie musical. Check out the trailer below, which holds the reveal of Tom Cruise‘s rocker Stacee Jaxx until the very end. Read More »

Legendary Entertainment and Alex Proyas are pulling more people into the big-budget and effects-heavy version of Paradise Lost that will feature several major sci-fi tinged battles between armies of angels and, er, fallen angels.

The latest to sign on are Diego Boneta, who will play Adam opposite Camille Belle‘s Eve, and Dominic Purcell from Prison Break, who will play the fallen angel Jerahmeel. Read More »

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I know that you’re just burning up with curiosity about progress on the Farrelly Brothers new The Three Stooges and Adam Shankman‘s film version of the stage musical Rock of Ages. So here are some on-set snaps from both films. The Rock of Ages pics show off the film’s very ’80s costumes, while the Three Stooges images give us our first (relatively bad) looks at the new Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos) and Larry (Sean Hayes), but there are also images of Sofia Vergara, and even though they show her made up to be battered and bruised, I imagine no one is going to complain about those. See ‘em all after the break. Read More »

Malin Akerman Joins ‘Rock of Ages’

Gary Ross’ The Hunger Games isn’t the only movie that can dole out individual casting breaks on a daily basis. Adam Shankman‘s Rock of Ages — the movie version of the ‘jukebox musical’ that tells a tale of love and abition partially through the performances of anthemic ’80s tunes — seems to add a major name every other day.

The latest is Malin Akerman, who takes on the role that was originally intended for Anne Hathaway and then Amy Adams, both of whom bailed to do big comic book movies. (The Dark Knight Rises and Superman: The Man of Steel, respectively.) Can she sing? I’m not sure, but looking at the rest of the cast of the film, I’m not sure that it matters, either. Read More »

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