Though the small screen retains an unfair reputation as a lesser medium — think of all the snobby types who’ll brag about not owning a television, but would never be so dismissive about books or movies — the truth is that the medium varies as much as any other. Today’s TV Bits runs the gamut from highbrow (a literary adaptation on HBO) to lowbrow (a modeling industry reality show on The CW), with plenty of stuff in between. After the jump:

  • Noah Baumbach’s Jonathan Franzen adaptation The Corrections is a go at HBO
  • HBO will offer an early look at its highly anticipated Luck next month
  • Fox puts new eps of Alcatraz on hold while it goes back for reshoots
  • Burt Reynolds signs on to guest star on FX’s Archer
  • Summer Glau joins Tricia Helfer on TNT’s Scent of the Missing
  • The CW announces start dates for its midseason shows

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Is Uwe Boll’s Career Over?

Uwe BollFanboys’ favorite ubermensch of suckage, Uwe Boll, may have directed his l-a-s-t big budget theatrical travesty with this past weekend’s $70 million In the Name of the King: Dungeon Siege Tale. The Jason Statham and Burt Reynolds (!) vehicle grossed a mouthwatering $3 million over the weekend, but apparently did “okay” in, drumroll, Boll’s home country of Germany.

“Because of the Boll reputation, it is not easy to get audiences into the cinemas,” Mychael Berg, head of distribution at 20th Century Fox in Germany, told the Hollywood Reporter. “We finally managed it, and we are quite satisfied with the abut 250,000 people who watched the movie (in Germany). We proved that you can make money with a Boll film.”

That might be the first time I’ve ever heard a distribution head publicly apologize for a director’s rep, outside of the porn industry. Hilarious! All cherries are popped sooner or later, I guess. The usually unflappable Boll, whose filmography includes videogame flicks like Bloodrayne 1 & 2 and Alone in the Dark, even sounds like he knows his number is up.

“In the future, I will focus on small films such as (the video game adaptation) ‘Postal’ or (the Vietnam war drama) ‘Tunnel Rats,’ ” Boll said. “These are films that represent my true passion, and they can be done with small budgets.”

Bring on the “passion,” I say. But the real reason for the end to Boll’s inexplicable employment is due to Germany banning tax shelter funds, from which Boll’s pricey Planet 9s were backed. From here on, he’ll have to play the Hollywood game straight-up. I checked his IMDB entry to bathe in his failure…but wait! It lists a $35 million movie coming out in 2010 called Legend: Hand of God from the director’s usual Freestyle Releasing (The Illusionist, Beer League), as well as a slew of others flicks like Zombie Massacre. Somewhere the Dr. Claw of genre films pets his feline and laughs loudly into the night!

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