Whether you’re excited or outraged at the prospect of a new Austin Powers movie (and a quick glance at our comments suggests there are people in both camps), you may want to put your feelings on hold just a little while longer. Although news broke a few days ago that Mike Myers was “signed, sealed, delivered” for the fourth installment of the comedy franchise, a new report suggests that the deal hasn’t been signed yet after all, and that New Line actually isn’t too sure what’s going on. Read more after the jump.

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What if the popular time travelers of cinema and television history existed on the same timeline? David McCandless created this crazy visualization as part of his upcoming book The Visual Miscellaneum ($18 preorder on Amazon). The chart tracks all the action between 800 AD and 4000 AD, and the tracking is color-coded by method of time travel: Alien Technology, Force of Nature, Time Machine, Deep Freeze, or Unknown. McCandless also imagines what possible paradoxes might occur when multiple time travelers converge on the same date. Check out the full chart after the jump.

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 Earlier this month, Slashfilm reluctantly posted its first item involving the supermodel Gisele Bundchen. Rumors were spreading via Boston.com that she was being sought for the female lead in an unannounced Austin Powers 4, and was currently reading the script, meeting with Myers et al. As with many things in life, when something seems off, you should call up Seth Green aka Scott Evil for a sarcastic brush of the hand and that’s exactly what MTV did. Here’s how Green summed up the rumors…

“Giselle…the model??” he exclaimed.

Green went on to say that there’s no script and that any recent AP4 “news” probably arrives from “off-hand” quotes attributed to Mike Myers during press rounds. He also points out that a fragmented New Line probably doesn’t have a sequel on the corporate brain right now. Grooooovy Fantastic news. Now if Green would only gave a loud pfffft to The Love Guru being a reality and confirm that it’s just another schtick-laden napmare, we’d be in the clear.

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“Acting.”

Those new softcore teen ads for Gossip Girl have introduced your mag-loving aunt to “OMFG” (unless she reads EW, where it’s the same image with “OMG”) but that acronym is not appropriate for Austin Powers 4. I’m going to suggest PGN (please god no for EW) and PFGN for everyone else who cannot withstand hearing “Oh, behave!” slither out of Mike Myers‘s signature character’s toothy piehole 400 more times. Boston.com reports that a script is currently out to model Gisele Bundchen for the role of the female lead in Austin Powers 4. Moreover, the site reports that her agent will soon discuss the deal with Myers and director Jay Roach (Austin Powers 1-3, Meet the Fockers). Trustworthy? Meh. Scary? Yes.

Nearly a year ago we reported that Myers was considering a solo Dr. Evil flick. With a virtual nickelodeon of superheroes floating into and out of the multiplex over the years (and for the years ahead), a Dr. Evil spin-off has potential to tap into and aggressively spoof the neglected psyche of today’s cheesy, ubiquitous supervillian. This movie could work, especially if Austin Powers was killed off in the first 10 minutes, leaving Evil and his heir to wither in midlife and quarterlife crises respectively. But Austin + Gisele + the word “randy” = PFGN. Three films more than did the kitsch trick, thank you.

Discuss: Is it just us? Is Austin Powers 4 a groooovy idea? Would you rather see Dr. Evil: An Evil Movie, or see Myers put these two characters and their New Line franchise on ice for 10 more years?

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