American Horror Story Coven

Dexter boasts a sky-high body count, Homeland features one terrorist plot after another, Game of Thrones showcases disembowelments and amputations galore, and Breaking Bad centers on a man who turns into more of a monster with every passing week. But as a source of good old-fashioned creepy-crawlies, none of those shows can beat FX’s American Horror Story.

Just two weeks are left until the premiere of Season 3, titled American Horror Story: Coven. To whet fans’ appetites for the uncanny, FX has just released the updated opening credits and two more opaque but unsettling teasers. Check ‘em all out after the jump.

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AMC’s keeping their fingers crossed that The Walking Dead will never, ever end. Also after the jump:

  • Ricky GervaisDerek comes to Netflix this fall
  • ABC reveals plans to finish 666 Park Ave and Apt. 23
  • Will Damon Wayans Jr. return to New Girl?
  • Guillermo del Toro’s The Strain adds a Twilight star
  • Emma Roberts boards American Horror Story
  • Homeland gets some fresh faces
  • First pics from Bonnie & Clyde revealed
  • See teasers for Newsroom, Boardwalk Empire, and Clear History

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Enlightened

Let’s just dive right in. After the jump:

  • Enlightened gets canned, CSI gets renewed
  • A Once Upon a Time spinoff is in the works
  • Fox is developing an O.J. Simpson series
  • Is Jimmy Fallon replacing Jay Leno?
  • Adam Green‘s Holliston sets a return date
  • American Horror Story gets a subtitle
  • Sam Raimi will direct the Fox pilot Rake
  • Adam Scott could’ve been Jim Halpert
  • David Brent returns in The Office Revisited
  • Game of Thrones gets a new promo and a GRRM cameo
  • Hemlock Grove and Hannibal get twisted new trailers
  • HBO reveals a teaser for Phillip Noyce‘s Mary and Martha

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David Brent is coming back, as is Whose Line It Anyway? Also after the jump:

  • Lee Pace, Angela Kinsey, Michael Ealy and more book pilots
  • Entourage‘s Rhys Chorio will drop by Dexter next season
  • Ron Livingston and Brian Geraghty join Boardwalk Empire
  • FX’s Archer and Syfy’s Lost Girl get renewals
  • Goodwin Games, Louis CK‘s new special get premiere dates
  • The CW cancels 90210 and moves Cult to Fridays
  • AMC confirms Scott Gimple as the new Walking Dead showrunner
  • Dylan McDermott drops a hint about American Horror Story
  • Most PaleyFest 2013 panels will stream live online
  • Netflix announces the Flixies awards

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HBO’s other big spring premiere, Veep, debuts a new teaser today. Also after the jump:

  • Gillian Anderson, Ken Jeong, Jorge Garcia, and more land new series
  • Lindsay Lohan will woo Charlie Sheen on Anger Management
  • Kathy Bates will face down Jessica Lange in American Horror Story
  • Ben Stiller returns to Arrested Development; Netflix hopes for more seasons
  • TBS hopes to be king of the nerds by renewing King of the Nerds
  • Web comic Achewood is being turned into a TV series
  • NBC releases a series of character posters for Hannibal

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Whoever asked the universe for a Brett Ratner-produced Farmville TV series, your prayers have been answered. Also after the jump:

  • Director Barry Sonnenfeld signs on for Beverly Hills Cop
  • Ridley Scott sets up a Philip K. Dick-based miniseries at Syfy
  • HBO gives pilot order to Damon Lindelof‘s The Leftovers
  • Zombieland casts Maiara Walsh as its new Emma Stone
  • Frances Conroy will return for American Horror Story
  • Vince Gilligan will direct the last episode of Breaking Bad
  • Is that a corpse we see in the new Breaking Bad set photo?
  • Check out a new picture from the set of ABC’s S.H.I.E.L.D.
  • Watch an intense new trailer for Game of Thrones Season 3

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Need a reason to watch American Horror Story? Want to relive its many warped highs and sordid lows? Baffled that it has an audience at all?

Wherever you stand on Ryan Murphy‘s dopey, perverse slice of camp horror bliss, here’s another chance to experience the staggering amount of insane plot turns its second season shamelessly exposed the world to in every episode.

In 60 seconds.

Watch the video after the jump. Read More »

It’s been a slow week for movie news, but not so on the small-screen front. After the jump:

  • Jon Favreau will direct one of The Office‘s last episodes
  • Nancy Pelosi and Ice-T will appear on the 30 Rock finale
  • A Walking Dead newcomer joins Once Upon a Time
  • Here’s what Donald Glover will be doing on Girls
  • Writer Megan Ganz leaves Community for Modern Family
  • Ryan Murphy teases details on American Horror Story Season 3
  • Anna Faris books Chuck Lorre’s newest comedy, titled Mom
  • Martin Lawrence and Kelsey Grammer team for a new sitcom
  • Starz backs a new drama from William Monahan called Crime
  • Four more trailers debut for David Fincher‘s House of Cards
  • The Walking Dead gets a teaser for the second half of Season 3

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