Star Wars jizz

Do you know what form of music was played by the cantina band in Star Wars? It’s called Jizz. No, really. Star Wars jizz was gently established in the Return of the Jedi novelization, which mentioned “jizz-wailers,” and then cemented in an Expanded Universe short story anthology called Tales From the Mos Eisley Cantina.

The first story in that book focused on the cantina band (Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes, if you want to be precise) and their mastery of jizz. I could tell you more, but there’s a great short documentary that will explain it all. Watch below.

This video is not safe for work due to incredibly childish humor. If you want to laugh like an eleven-year old boy, this will do the trick.

Obviously, this is not from Ken Burns. In reality, it’s an Upright Citizens Brigade production. But the whole “jizz” thing is spot-on, and actually sourced from the Expanded Universe. I haven’t seen any evidence of digging to see whether the term was the result of a proofing error in the Return of the Jedi novelization, which seems like one likely story. There’s also the chance that jizz was an intentional play on one reported origin of the word jazz, which may be related to similarly sexual terms.

Given the history of insane and sometimes purely silly names in the Star Wars universe, perhaps “jizz” was entirely intentional, and separate from any jazz scholarship. Regardless: it’s funny.

Disney has killed off the Star Wars Extended Universe, thus killing off thousands of characters and stories. But most importantly, the seminal form of improvisational music that is ACTUALLY CANONICALLY named “Jizz”.

[FoD via Badass Digest]

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