The following review comes from our east coast correspondent Zach Lawrence:
Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Jungle of the Swinging Shia, The Chronicles of Narnia; the last few weeks, my girlfriend has been a hardcore trooper. So what does a man do? He owes. He owes her one, and my fellow fan boys and movie geeks, listen closely, this information could save your life.
I was never a huge “Sex” fan, but I learned to appreciate the culture value of the four girls tearing up New York with their cosmopolitans and gabby sex chat turning an entire generation of regular girls into the equivalent of metro sexual males. This movie runs from nowhere and from what I remember, pretty much picks up where we last left the girls. When I say “runs from nowhere” I mean, there is no harbinger to kick off this highly anticipated film besides everyone’s contentment. Now this is where the genius kicks in, after beginning with everyone having settled into their lives, each in their own way individually and as a collective, they are almost immediately torn down to basically nullify what the whole series built up to.
Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda each have their own set of problems which tie in nicely with well placed and well paced dialogue over conveniently set up lunch dates and dinners. Carrie at the start of the movie is jilted by Big at the wedding alter and falls apart, while her girlfriends rally for support, Miranda’s husband cheats on her, Charlotte is still psychotically happy and (get ready) Samantha is the funniest part of the film. She, in my masculine opinion, was the most entertaining part of the show and still dominates on film. Sadly though that’s kind of it, things of course tie up here and there but this is still just Sex and the City, just a two and half hour (I repeat 2 Â½ hours) long episode.
I was in a sold out, maximum capacity audience and was, I think, one out five men in attendance. The women laughed it up. Every unfunny dry joke of Carrie’s or ditsy move of Charlotte (literally shitting her pants), or Samantha foaming at the mouth for her hot neighbor, got a screaming response from all the cougars in the audience as well as the little girls who want to be like the characters. Also as a side note, this seems to be the year of full frontal male nudity, so men beware, there is more wang and man ass in this film then naked girls.
Now I’m not contradicting myself. This was not a bad film, it just wasn’t good. It was somewhere in that gray area of “ok” where you get lost in your decision on whether or not you liked it. At the end, the movie got a bigger applause then Indiana Jones which rocked me to the core in a disturbing way, and left you with no real answers. It ended in the same way the series ended. Thank god Pete didn’t see this film, it would have hurt his skull, I just have a larger capacity for girly things, I.E. shopping, hair and nails and boy talk. What I mean by that is I frequently get asked advice on wedding dress shopping which was a large part of this film as well as hair and nails and purses and shoes.
I think I may have lost a bet in the way that I believed Crystal Skull would still hold the #1 spot after its huge haul last week but after the movie let out last night I was dumbstruck. I have never seen a cinema more run amok with women that I fear for Indy’s spot. I may very well be eating my words that people have forgotten about Sex and the City, because my friends, about once a year a movie is released targeting a 100% female audience, and man oh man, they came in droves. It was like a sluttier Rocky Horror Picture Show with everyone dressing skanky like the girls in the movie; with the 18 to 60 year old demographic this movie is a gold mine for a single man to pick up girls. . . . . You will NEVER hear me say that again about a movie theatre, so get in while the gettings good!