godzilla2000

Leave the King of the Monsters alone. He’s content at the bottom of the sea resting atop shipwrecked boxes of Asahi. Sure, Baby Godzilla wants him to pay for college, but so what? The kid is a disgrace better ignored and very likely egg-bodied for life. But today, according to Bloody Disgusting, Hollywood has dialed the King’s oceanic partyline in hopes of making another Americanized Godzilla movie.

Only a decade-and-change has passed (actually, wow) since director Roland Emmerich last pitted Godzilla against Ferris Bueller in a film that sucked even by the mindless standards of Emmerich stimuli. But there’s an upside to the rumor: BD reports that Legendary Pictures, the company behind The Dark Knight, Zack Snyder‘s features, and Spike Jonze‘s WTWTA, is the one allegedly interested in a revamp. A call this morning to a source at Legendary offered no comment.

Alex Billington at First Showing bordered on a 360* tizzy at the possibility: “Wait a minute, I thought Cloverfield was supposed to be America’s new Godzilla replacement, since J.J. Abrams wanted us to have our own famous movie monster? What happened there?” We have no idea, Alex. But he raises a medium-relevant point. Collective imagination amongst geeks runs incredibly shallow when contemplating another mega-budget Godzilla for the aughts—a creature born out of the justified-paranoia of the Atomic Age.  Cloverfield quite aptly served as a not-so-subtle monster metaphor for Post-9/11 tension and destruction. And there is still the chance of a Cloverfield sequel. So, what’s the reasoning for the return of Godzilla beyond dollars? Unlike King Kong, also gifted with a disappointing remake, Godzilla’s personality, anatomy, and campy charm are much harder to translate into a serious blockbuster.

One idea that wasn’t explored in Emmerich’s flop or JJ’s hit is a characteristic global monster-mash. Think a $200 million Godzilla tail-whipping the mutant-textured asses of King Ghidorah and Megalon across trampled continents or Pangea itself. After the success of the Transformers cramchise, peeling out in the direction of monsters-for-robots seems an obvious choice. All we ask is that Legendary Pictures study Big Man Japan under the influence of salvia divinorum. And I would be remiss not to suggest: man-in-suit! man-in-suit!

We’ll update if the Godzilla: Reboot rumor is confirmed or shot down. Meanwhile, what say you?

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