Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D isn’t being shown to critics, which might mean that the Weinstein Company knows the movie is terrible, or just that they don’t need critics. Why bother, when there’s a built-in audience ready to see boobs, blood and killer fish in 3D?

But even the lowliest movie has aspirations towards Oscar, and so we present For Your Consideration: Piranha 3D, in which ‘Hollywood treasure’ Jerry O’Connell leads a pack of actors (Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, Paul Scheer and more) in a campaign to win real award recognition for the film.

They do make a compelling argument. As Adam Scott asks, “Why stop at Best Picture? Why not ‘Best Penis Being Gobbled and Spit Out in 3D’?” And he follows that up with observations that are impossible to argue. “Look, now you nominate ten movies for Best Picture. What, are you going to nominate Inception ten times? Back when you had five, you nominated Ghost for Best Picture. I mean, give me a fucking break!”

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