Mean Girls 2? Naked Gun 4? Road Trip 2? Grease 3?

I’m sure that the downfall of modern entertainment will someday be linked to the concept of direct-to-DVD movie sequels. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a shitty home video sequel of Wrong Turn, but when they start messing around with films that people actually care about (like Lost Boys or Wargames), that is when I begin to get angry. Imagine someday Warner Bros will be making a direct-to-dvd sequel of The Dark Knight. I can’t wait (sigh). Paramount  has announced that they are launching a new label that will focus on developing dvd movies based on successful properties from their library. The label is being called Paramount Famous. And by “Famous” they mean, “We are ripping off you, the unknowing stupid consumer, with a sub par low budget movie that just happens to have the same name as a famous movie you loved, followed by a number 2, 3, 4 or rather some witty subtitle”.

The first film in the line is Without a Paddle: Nature’s Calling (yes, notice the witty subtitle), which just wrapped and is scheduled to hit DVD in 2009. I’m fine with a direct to DVD sequel / spin-off of Without a Paddle, because if you buy such a movie, you only deserve what you get. But THR’s story claims that Paramount Famous has already begun developing a half-dozen other projects based on such movies as Road Trip, Bad News Bears, Naked Gun, Mean Girls and Grease. Do we really need another Naked Gun sequel? And I’m pretty sure that Mean Girls said everything that needed to be said about the world of mean high school girls. And without a young hot Lindsay Lohan in the lead role, what’s the point exactly? I guess you could argue that Hayden Panettiere starred in one of the awful direct-to-dvd sequels for Bring It On.

But one of the more disappointing points is that a direct to dvd sequel degrades the property that it is raping. I never want to see a Grease sequel, but I know a lot of women who would. The release of Grease: Greasing To Win It will ruin any hope for another big screen film. But the sad fact is that these movies sell because people are stupid. According to The Hollywood Reporter, most of the American Pie and Bring It On DVD sequels have sold between 1 million – 2 million copies each, which is nearly as much money as 300 or Ratatouille made at the box office.

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