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UPDATE: ZOMFG! Have any of you guys seen Matthew McConaughey’s official website? It’s actually called “Just Keep Livin’”and you can cruise his glossies while listening to terrible reggae. Amazing! Thanks to Slashfilm reader “Black Flag Inuit” for the tippity top of tips!

Sorry, but real men are not literally golden. Real men don’t grow gigantic mustaches before they start filming action flicks, they already get the thumbs up when they see Lionel Richie at the market. EW reports that Mr. Oscar Abs aka Matthew McConaughey is currently (and finally) reading the script for the long lingering Magnum P.I. remake by writer/director Rawson Thurber (Dodgeball); you know, Magnum P.I., the TV show that got polite but stern, very hairy men in Hawaiian shirts laid by babes for a generation? So, if EW is correct, the shirt is off and the offer is on the table to McConaughey.

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Listen, I just saw Selleck, Mr. Tom Selleck, on Craig Ferguson (another real dude), and he looks fine. He even has a ranch with one goat. I guess he’s making some bank off the M/GILFs for his Jesse Stone: Small Town Police Chief franchise, but the guy has forever earned this movie and the role of Thomas Sullivan Magnum, IV. And if not, he should be able to handpick the V heir to the character’s Ferrari and the world’s finest, exquisitely tan-lined catches.

McConaughey is ideal for movies like Sahara, Tropic Thunder and Surfer Dude, but playing an ex-Navy Seal? Is he going to grow a kit and by kit I mean a chest so hairy it takes four bimbos with blow dryers to get us to the next scene? Stop the madness.

Discuss: Whatevs, just no bongo talk.

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