kindergarten cop 2 trailer

There has always been a big market for direct-to-video sequels. Back in the Ye Olden Tymes, you could walk down the “New Releases” section of your friendly neighborhood video rental establishment and find low-rent sequels to some of your favorite hits from a decade earlier. The connections to the original film usually ended with the title, but there was something oddly fascinating about this kind of junk. These movies existed simply to trick uninformed movie viewers into watching something rushed out on the cheap just because it has a familiar title.

And while we may be living in the age of streaming, it’s nice to see this ugly, low-budget torch picked up by the likes of Kindergarten Cop 2. The first trailer for this 26-years-in-the-making sequel has arrived and it looks just about as bad as you’d expect for a 2016 family comedy starring Dolph Lundren.

Yes, Kindergarten Cop 2 has replaced Arnold Schwarzenegger with Dolph Lundren, which is a fascinating downgrade. After all, these two are weird reflections of one another. Both are musclebound European action stars whose early battles with the English language represent as huge part of their appeal. Both have a shocking amount of intelligence lurking behind their meathead frames, with Schwarzenegger famously breaking into politics and Lundgren holding a degree in chemical engineering. And while both have fallen out of the spotlight in the past decade or so, Schwarzenegger remains widely beloved and Lundgren is the guy you get to star in Kindergarten Cop 2. Lundgren is the B-tier Arnold, the surprisingly intelligent muscle man who doesn’t have an impressive legacy to fall back on. It’s a little sad, but contemplating that sadness is the key to appreciating Lundgren as a performer and a presence.

In any case, any appreciation you do have for this mealy-mouthed Swede will be tested when you actually click play on the Kindergarten Cop 2 trailer below:

Yikes. So Kindergarten Cop 2 looks like a remake of the first film, with another inscrutably accented action hero going undercover at a school. Naturally, he teaches the kids and they teach him and so on and so forth. The first Kindergarten Cop is not a particularly good movie, but at least it had Schwarzenegger operating at the peak of his powers, when every sinewy muscle on his body seemingly built and released infectious, airborne charisma. The sequel has Dolph Lundgren looking very, very tired.

Entertainment Weekly premiered the trailer and they provided this brief synopsis:

The 58-year-old actor plays an FBI agent assigned to hunt down sensitive stolen data. While undercover as a kindergarten teacher, the gruff, old-school Agent Reed finds himself at odds with the school’s liberal, politically correct environment.

Kindergarten Cop 2 hits DVD and VOD on May 17, 2016. You probably have better things to do with your time, but you’re going to watch it too, huh? I know I am. Because I am a sick, bad person with too much love for Dolph freakin’ Lundgren.

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