Jurassic World - Jake Johnson

Jurassic World was by far the biggest smash hit of the summer, demolishing records to gross $1.6 billion worldwide. But all that sweet box office dough can’t protect it from the irreverent scrutiny of the Screen Junkies, who’ve just unveiled their Jurassic World Honest Trailer.

The team takes the dino sequel to task for its literal “nostalgia goggles,” as well as all the questions it raises — starting of course with “How can this lady outrun a T-Rex in high heels?” But hey, they do call it “the best Jurassic Park sequel ever made,” even if they admit that’s not saying much. Watch the Jurassic World Honest Trailer after the jump.

Jurassic World Honest Trailer

Aw, don’t be too sad, Jurassic World. Not even Jurassic Park got off scot-free. Besides, even the Screen Junkies have to admit their nitpicks don’t really mater: “Who cares, because that T-rex and raptor tag-team fight was awesome!”

Perhaps we will never get a satisfying answer to such mysteries as, “Why are these parents getting divorced, and why is this even in the movie?” But actress Bryce Dallas Howard, who played “the stiff lady who won’t shut up about assets,” has an explanation for those high heels, at least:

[Claire] is ill-equipped to be in the jungle. This person does not belong in the jungle. And then when she ends up in the jungle it’s how does this person adapt to being in the jungle? From a logical standpoint I don’t think she would take off her heels. I don’t think she would choose to be barefoot. I don’t think she would run faster barefoot in the jungle with vines and stones.

I’m better equipped to run when I have shoes on my feet. So that’s my perspective on it. I don’t think she would carry around flats with her. I think she’s somebody who could sprint a marathon in heels. For me, it was actually logical for her to be in that very illogical situation because she doesn’t belong in the jungle and yet she finds herself there and has to adapt.

Mm, agree to disagree on Claire not seeming like the type of person who’d carry around flats with her. Someone that type-A would definitely have a pair of emergency ballet flats in her car. But as for the rest of it, fair enough. Stilettos may not be the most comfortable shoes to sprint in, but running barefoot is no cakewalk either. Just ask John McClane.

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