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“Tonight, we’ll grill some tuna, have a lil’ vino, some kissy kissy, it’ll be great!”

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In my opinion, MEG has maintained dibbs on “Award for Best Boner Shorts Concept Art” for a few years running. The 80-foot prehistoric pissed off shark movie–think death metal to Jaws‘s hep jazz–needs to happen no matter what. Recently, The L.A. Times published an update about the feature adaptation of author Steve Alten‘s 1997 page turner, that also rewinds MEG‘s stint in Hollywood production hell.

The good? We still have the concept art. The pretty good? The film has a solid new financier, Appelles Publishing Inc. in Virginia, with three producers, including Watchmen producers Lloyd Levin and Lawrence Gordon, now riding the wave (the one with the 70,000 pound shark in it). This may finally happen! The bad? It’s MEG, a pricey fever dream even for an American blockbuster. The ugly? The fourth MEG book (due this summer) is entitled MEG: Hell’s Aquarium. (What would Peter Benchley say?)

You might recall that earlier this decade, director Jan de Bont (Speed, Speed 2: Jason Patrick) was close to steering the film into reality for New Line. Producers at the time included Guillermo del Toro and CHUD.com’s Nick Nunziata. In a funny tidbit from the LAT article, MEG‘s creator, Alten, who sees this as a “billion dollar film franchise,” laughs remembering that one rejected script “stuck wings on the shark.” Somebody please email me that concept art! That is more friggin’ ‘tarded than Spinal Tap’s Shark Sandwich. Are we talking fairy wings or dragon wings?

Discuss: Do you believe in MEG? Who should direct MEG? What should MEG 4 be subtitled? Wings or no wings? Would you see MEG if Uwe Boll directed it? Michael Bay? Jason Reitman?

 

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