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“How did we end up in Steve Brill’s mind?”

BRILL-IANT UPDATE: Slashfilm reader “Sam R” put together this Brill-iant prototype design for t-shirts. Too good to leave it shining in our comments section like a diamond-studded chariot. Click here to witness the Slash-tastic work! Also, see Sam’s new shirt design on Zazzle. And be sure to give a shout out below!

Alright, I’m not going to cough up everything that’s going on with Fanboys at The Weinstein Co. because you don’t need to even know what Fanboys is to enjoy these idiotic, foul-mouthed, hilarious, pathetic email fights below. They’re between actual fanboys who are angry over the film being reshot and released without a cancer boy subplot and the director responsible for said reshoots and untold evils against humanity, Steve Heavyweights, Little Nicky, Without a PaddleBrill. Yes, these are real. Slashfilm has personally felt the wrath of this chief in the past. If you are wondering, Brill is 45. Let’s get to it. Ding Ding!

FANBOY #1 VS. STEVE BRILL

Fanboy Says:

Sent: Feb 23, 2008 5:25 PM
Subject: You suck for re-cutting ‘fanboys’

You suck for re-cutting ‘fanboys’
You really do.

Steve Brill Replies:

From: [redacted]

Subject: Re: You suck for re-cutting ‘fanboys’

U suck for e mailing me your bullshit whining. U r gonna like fanboys better because of me and then u can kiss my ass

FANBOY #2 VS. STEVE BRILL (My Personal Fave)

Fanboy Says:

Dear Mr. Brill,

I had contacted my theatres booking agent when I first heard about “Fanboys. ” I thought it would be an uplifting and funny change of pace for our theatres.

Now, I realize that it will be the same cut and dried mainstream junk that has been habitually littering our auditoriums.

I am going to contact my booker and suggest that as a company, we do not pick up this film for presentation. You have ruined a wonderful concept.

Sincerely,
Chris

Steve Brill Replies:

From: [redacted]

No. Please god. No Chris… please no. Don’t wield your power against us. I was just trying to help. Please Christopher don’t hold it against the movie. We’ll do anything to gain your trust. You seem so important and so knowledgeable, obviously you have formed a real considered opinion and the fact that you will not book us into your theatre is so unfair. I implore you sir please reconsider. Direct your wrath at me, but don’t take it out on the movie….. What can we do to appease you Chris? You dumb cunt. E mail me again and I will hunt you down fucker… try me.

FANBOY #3 VS. STEVE “BADASS” BRILL

Fanboy Says:

You’re involved with Fanboys for nothing more than a quick buck. You don’t give a damn about the movie, Star Wars or its fans, so why the fuck did you agree to the job? Do you sleep comfortably at night knowing that you’ve bastardised a film that has the potential to become a cult classic for years on end into a movie which will be forgotten about in less than 6 weeks.

Little Nicky was okay, the rest sucked.

Once more, fuck you!

Steve Brill Replies:

From: [redacted]

Hey Owen. You’re kind of a big mouth tough guy over the internet. Wanna come say fuck you to my face? I’d be happy to give you the chance. How about this tough guy. You and I go head to head in a Star Wars Trivia contest. You think I don’t care about the wars fucker? I know more about it than you can imagine. I care deeply and have been immersed in Star Wars since it came out. I was there jerk off. I still have my stub. I have seen the trilogy probably a hundred times in the theater! And you dare question my caring. You think I would do it for the money!? I did it to get the movie released! So people like you could see it. But come on. Let’s prove who cares more. Five thousand dollars to the winner of a trivia contest. I’ll donate my winnings to the American Cancer Society…So get ready big shot… If you e mail me again, you better be ready to lose that five thousand.

Discuss: How awesome is Hollywood?

via Cinematical

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