Die Hard

We’ve hit that time of year when people smugly single out Die Hard as their favorite Christmas movie, as if they’re the only ones who’ve noticed it takes place during the holidays. But all the misguided self-congratulation in the world can’t change the fact that Die Hard is, in fact, a damn great Christmas movie. Actually, it’s just a great movie, period. Even if the increasingly incoherent sequels have dulled John McClane’s shine, the original will always have a place in the action movie canon.

So what happens when the snarkmongers at Screen Junkies set their sights on such a beloved classic? Find out by watching the Die Hard Honest Trailer after the jump. 

Die Hard Honest Trailer

In a big change from their usual M.O., the Screen Junkies team actually goes out of its way to heap praise upon Die Hard, describing it as “the greatest Christmas movie ever made,” and packed with “amazing action, great heroes, fantastic villains, hilarious comedy, suspense, romance, excellent stunt work, a rich supporting cast, and awesome one-liners.” Their reasoning is tough to dispute. “What, you thought were going to crap on Die Hard?” says the narrator. “This movie is friggin’ perfect!”

But that doesn’t mean they can’t laugh about it. Among other things, they target Bruce Willis‘ lazy late-career work, Reginald VelJohnson‘s very cop-centric career, Alan Rickman and the henchmen’s hilarious inability to sound actually German, and all the super-’80s details crammed into the movie (pregnant drinking! making fun of touchscreens! so much freaking cocaine!).

They also get in a knock at what Die Hard has become in the nearly 30 years since it was released: a source of endless ridiculous knockoffs, including actual Die Hard sequels. The whole point of the original Die Hard is that John McClane isn’t some preternaturally gifted superhero, but a (more or less) ordinary Joe trapped in extraordinary circumstances. The sequels have sadly lost sight of the character’s everyman appeal, to the point that there’s a freaking origin story in the works. But hey at least we’ll always have the original “Die Hard in a building.”

 

 

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