Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman
Written by: William Monahan, Felix Chong, Alan Mak
Starring: Jordana Brewster, Taylor Handley, Diora Baird, Matt Bomer, Lee Tergesen, Cyia Batten and R. Lee Ermey
Distributor: New Line
Genre: Horror, Remake, Sequel
Rating: R for strong horror violence/gore, language and some sexual content.
Running Time: 84 min
/Film Rating: 3.5 out of 10

When the Michael Bay produced remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre hit theaters a few years back, I found it surprisingly enjoyable.

Three years later, the producers are back with a seemingly great idea: The origin of Leatherface. How could this go wrong?

Horror remakes are tough. Most film critics have a strong attachment to the original film, I call this the Star Wars Effect: when a movie experience from years past has vastly grown to exceed the movie itself. I'm not saying that most horror remakes are better than the originals. I'm just saying that the originals are usually not nearly as great as you remember. The remakes have much to offer, including breathtaking cinematography and killer effects which make what wasn't possible, possible.

So yes, I did enjoy the 2003 remake of Texas Chainsaw. Music video and television commercial director Marcus Nispel created a visually stunning film. Beginnings was helmed by Jonathan Liebesman, director of Darkness Falls. How could we go from a first class commercial director to this hack?

Beginings follows two young couples on one final road trip, who are kidnapped by Sheriff Hoyt (R. Lee Ermey). Brought back to the infamous house, they must escape before Leatherface kills them with his chainsaw.

Wait? I thought this was a origin flick. W are witness to Leatherface's birth as a deformed fetus in the Lee slaughter house meat packing plant. We learn how R. Lee Ermey becomes "The Sheriff," and we find out how Leatherface gets the now infamous mask (which happens exactly how you would expect). Aside from that, we just get another pointless slasher film.

To be fair, this movie had it's decked stacked going in. Being a prequel, we knew that Leatherface, Sheriff Hoyt and the whole family are alive for the original remake. So at no time during the film do we believe the characters even have a chance.

That said, Beginnings biggest fault is that it is comprised of a cast of stereotypes. The characters lack any depth what-so-ever, so we don't care if they die. True, the original remake's characters weren't that much better, but at least the film could fall back on the stars. People know and like Jessica Biel, and they didn't want to see her die. In Beginnings, we know nothing of the actors, so they can't even fall back on that crutch.

I spent most of the film wishing I could cheer on Leatherface, but why should I? The screenwriters missed a huge opportunity with this film to humanize the monster. It would have been great to see how the kids at school tortured him. I'm sure a lot of things could have went into making Leatherface the monster he became. And I'm not advocating making a murderer a good guy, I just wish this movie had a three dimensional character.

The only two dimensional character in the whole thing is Sherif Hoyt, who has a ton of great one liners. If you liked his character in the original, then you'll love him in this.

The movie has one descent scare, and features a lot of blood and gore, used to no creative effect (the filmmakers could learn a lot from watching Martin Scorsese's The Departed, which also hits theaters this weekend).

I hate to be the stereotypical movie critic who slams the genre film for being horrible, but in this case it's true. I love going to the movies, and enjoy a good popcorn flick (Crank was a great ride), but this is not that movie.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning has nothing new to offer, and is boring.

/Film Rating: 3.5 out of 10