patton-oswalt

Patton Oswalt has always been one of my favorite comedians. Career-wise, his appearances on Reno 9/11 have shown he’s not afraid to make fun of himself, while his starring role in Pixar’s Ratatouille made him the envy of film nerds everywhere. In his stand-up, I love the way he is able to combine nerd/geek topics with a withering righteous indignation. Take, for example, the following diatribe directed at people complaining about the faithfulness of Zack Snyder’s Watchmen adaptation, which he recently unleashed on his MySpace page:

Zack Snyder STEPPED UP, motherfuckers. THE WATCHMEN was going to get made, one way or another. And instead of bleating on his Facebook status updates or Tweeting about how shitty the upcoming adaptation’s going to be, he TOOK THE BULLET and tried to do it right. Yes, THE WATCHMEN should be a limited series on HBO and blah blah blah IT WAS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN THAT WAY. Zack delivered a 2 1/2 hour, honest attempt, and broke his ass cranking out tons of free extras. Hell, he even animated The Tales of The Black Freighter for you chumps. Plus, he gave you a kick-ass DAWN OF THE DEAD remake, plus 300, plus whatever else he’s got coming down the pike. He’s the best friend the Nerd Mafia’s had since Joss Whedon and Brian Michael Bendis, so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go Fuck Yourself and go see the movie version of THE WATCHMEN…

L.A. CONFIDENTIAL stands as the best Ellroy adaptation to date, and it throws away massive chunks of the novel’s narrative. THE BLACK DAHLIA slavishly sticks to its source material and it’s almost un-watchable.

Make sure to go to his MySpace page to check out the entire rant.

The more I talk with people about Watchmen, the more I realize that every person has some opinion about how they wish Snyder had done a specific scene a certain way, or added in something that was excised for the purposes of the film’s running time. I also often think back to San Diego Comic Con 2008, when Zack Snyder shared that when he was approached to do the film, his first thought was that he didn’t want a terrible Watchmen film to be his fault. But, if he let the opportunity pass to another director and they messed it up, then it would, in some ways, be his fault anyway.

Despite the movie’s considerable flaws, Snyder has achieved something that was once thought impossible: He made a movie out of a book whose structure seemed to defy the very process of conventional filmmaking. In other words, Patton Oswalt is totally right.

[Thanks to /Film reader Oscar for the tip. And Patton, in the off chance you're reading this, we would still love to have you on the show sometime. Just shoot us an e-mail.]

  • Never STFU, not even in the face of Armageddon.
  • HAHA
  • thankyoufor
    Patton STFU!!!!
    lol jk but seriously that movie wasnt that good
    i love the book but no it just wasnt a coherent adaptation
  • thankyoufor
    everytiem someone gives criticism fanboys mark me down at -16 cry some more fanboys "he told ratatouille to shut up, but hes a famous nerd no this cant be" F Fanboy bs cant take criticism.
  • Intense Bate
    Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Typical internet bullshit. Lets face it the movie is not the masterpiece the comics were, but its still a really fun film that captures the bulk of what makes Watchmen so unique.
  • Mookie
    Watchmen was a stylish summary. A 2 1/2 hour trailer for something great. I wonder if Warners realizes they could've had at least 6 movies each based around its own character, each with the ability to earn 55 mil maybe more per weekend. Think about a Rorschach movie. Damn. Even Dr. Manhattan. You pick the coolest character first, build an audience off that and then you're raking in dough on the next five. Think Harry Potter and now Twilight. Watchmen could've been Twilight for adults (box office-wise). Damn. Damn. Damn.

    At least, they'll probably reboot it it two years.
  • Taephit
    Ugh...Idiot
  • Captain Molotov
    I'm assuming this is sarcastic. It's still not funny.
  • Pete (original)
    i agree with the Rohrschache movie idea. Every time he was on screen, I thought about a movie with just him in it and how I'd rather be watching it.
  • Amen Patton, Amen! B)
  • and now Watchmen fanboys launch the attack! lol

    *sits back and reads the thread*
  • Rom
    To be honest, I thought, besides the characters and various plot points, the novel was pretty horrible. Especially the ending. While it's not the best movie, I did love the movie more than the actual novel itself. Even though it still had that ridiculous ending.
  • What part of the Story (Movie or Comic) was ridiculous?
    /*Spoilers*/
    Did you not enjoy the overall idea of killing a relative few to save the many?
  • my thoughts exactly Patton, my thoughts exactly.
  • Up Next! Kevin James SHOUTS His Opinion's About Coraline!!!!!!!!!!1
  • "..so everyone please crack the tab on a frosty can of Go Fuck Yourself ..."

    Wow that's beautiful
  • Yes Patton, lets praise the Cliff Notes over and over again.
  • Wow
    Seriously?
  • Greg
    Patton was in Reno 9/11? I remember him being on Reno 911, but I don't remember him being on a show about Sept. 11 in Reno.
  • His rant would have more credibility if he had actually seen the movie before he gave it. I do agree with him that people who hadn't seen the movie and were already whining about the lack of squid should STFU. I loved the movie, but if people saw it and didn't like it fine. I can totally see how people might not like the movie. It is definitely not the kind of movie that if you didn't like it you probably are a drooling imbecile. Sure, give Zach Snyder some credit for trying, but if you didn't like the movie there is absolutely no reason to STFU. If you thought the movie on the scale of 1 to suck was a solid suck then why the fuck shouldn't you say so?
  • His point is about people shooting it down before they even saw it. Some already disliking it going in.
  • Ben
    Most of the problems seem to be missing parts of the story, and for that the studio should have more blame that Snyder. He wanted it much longer than it ended up being.
  • That's why we have the DIRECTOR'S CUT to look forward to! I'm still excited just for that.
  • Yea. and remember, the Ultimate Edition DVD is going to be almost 4 hours long. There were scenes in the trailers that weren't in the movie. Like when the knot heads attacked Hollis.
  • Do you enjoy reading other graphic novels or comic books? Because a lot of the dynamics of Watchmen are similar to that of other comics, and maybe you're just not used to that style of writing (and I don't just mean the fact that there are pictures).
  • if by stepping up, he means changing the story, adding more sex, more gore, and super slow motioned the crap out of fight scenes, then yeah, I guess that's stepping up.
  • Apparently there are some that think Patton is not credible for not knowing everything about the story before making the rant. And you know what I say to that? STFU!
    Seriously, I know that it's sometimes annoying when someone acts like they know a lot about something when they don't (I'm remembering a conversation about merchandise for Watchmen appearing at Hot Topic and how upsetting that was, for the same reason) but really, he's saying it from a movie-making standpoint as well as from the perspective of fans of the novel.
    I think a lot of times people who go to see movie adaptations fail to consider the fact that the people making the movie CAN'T AFFORD TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT ALL THE TIME YOU SELFISH, SELFISH PEOPLE.
    Anyway, props to Patton, I love when someone more well known that the average Joe yells at the common people.
  • here here!
  • i'm saving that one for my next argument.
  • actually, he subtracted a sex scene (in Chapter XII, when Manhattan walks across the pool to find Dan and Laurie spooning...not technically sex, but still had nudity.). the gore seemed on par with the book to me, and i don't know how a comic can have slow motion to begin with, unless the copy you had had really heavy pages that prevented you from fast page-turning.
  • puffy arizona
    watchmen movie ≥ watchmen graphic novel
  • i seriously am baffled whenever i come across someone with this opinion.
  • dagreenman18
    It was a good film and the best adaptiation possible without alienating the mainstream. Good on Snyder for having the balls to pull off something even Spielberg said wasn't possible.
  • i agree, this is what i've been saying since i saw it friday.
  • That is so cool!
  • joshi38
    Personally, I think that despite any of its flaws, this is the best Watchmen film we're ever likely to get, and the fact that we have on at all is great, so major props to Snyder and WB et al.
  • TalkingMcDonaldsFish
    I don't think we really needed a watchmen film, so maybe it would have been better to get none at all than a movie that was doomed to dissapoint.
  • joshi38
    Whether we needed it or not, it was going to happen, so it may as well have been done well. The movie wasn't perfect, but as a Watchmen movie was destined not to be perfect anyway, I repeat, it's likely the best Watchmen movie we're ever likely to get.
  • gastrotect
    It was gonna get made one way or the other and to think otherwise (or hope otherwise) is pure naivete. I'm not sure how much better it could have been as a movie and still be faithful. I admit I wasn't a fan of the slow-mo being used to set up exact panels from the novel, but that's a nitpicky thing I can live with (and it's Snyder's style anyway, so I just accepted it). I'd rather have an enjoyable, watchable film than a piece of garbage, so I remain content with the movie.
  • Floating Elephant
    I can't tell if Oswalt is trying to be funny, but the fact he calls WATCHMEN "THE WATCHEMEN" just blows any credibility of his argument out his ass.

    He probably hasn't even read it and just wants to be the cool answer to the anti-cool he percieves going on. I think he's great as Remy though. But should STFU about WATCHMEN himself
  • Maybe he has a movie coming out soon, and needs to be relevant.
  • Floating Elephant
    makes sense. Gets fanboy/young filmgoing demographic's attention
  • I was referring to the movie in regards to slow motion. The slow motion to full speed fight sequencing was nerve racking. From the first 5 minutes through the rest of the film the fights emphasized impact with slow motion, and really lacked luster.

    The sexuality was pushed a little and gore was pushed a little too far too. I understand it, but they were small ploys to convince some that this was a faithful "adult" adaptation of the graphic novel.
  • Look I enjoyed the movie and the comics as their own entities. Sure it has it's flaws but what adaptation doesn't. I didn't agree with some choices, like the music for the sex scene, but there are some really good sequences in there. I'm definitely picking this up on Blu-ray.
  • Mark
    I didn't realize that filmmakers deserve to be honored and that their films "must be watched" because they tried hard.
  • dopiestghost
    So because a filmmakers works really hard I should automatically not say his movie sucked? I'm obligated to like it because he put his blood, sweat and tears into it? Ok, well, Kirk Cameron broke his back to make a movie he really believed in called "Fireproof." Peter, you've bashed it continutally. If Patton is right about Watchmen, then you buddy, need to STFU about that. Fair?
  • Djangloo
    I think what we've really learned here is that Silk Spectre simply was not written as a convincing or empathetic character.

    As a result, Malin was chosen b/c she WAS Laurie: a young girl taken by Dr. Manhattan who uses sex as a way of finding places to crash at (seriously - what else is there to her, if she were a real person???)

    and no female viewer of the movie had anyone to sympathize with.

    The movie was faithful - in the end we should all grow up, and realize that Alan Moore has in fact done much better writing before and since.

    The best thing to come of this is the tight collaboration between Dave Gibbons and Zack Snyder.

    Maybe now they can make a GIVE ME LIBERTY movie, in which the hero/protagonist is a little black girl from the ghetto, who grows up to take on the WORLD.

    NONETHELESS - I'll see Watchmen, again. On IMAX. On mushrooms.

    Diagnosis: Comic Book Movies ONLY work when they can become date movies. Then they convince our girlfriends we're cooler than we are!

    But Alan Moore's misanthropy is really what was translated to the screen here. Good job Snyder - you took the final wind out of the sails of a great and talented man ...
    (Oh how much fun it is to rant and rave w/out an editor on the internets ... blah blah blah more complaints more complaints blah blah blah)

    WATCHMEN WAS GREAT. BECAUSE IT WAS IMPERFECT. ONLY PROBLEM IS, IT CREATED A GENERATION OF PERFECTIONIST FANS WHOSE BITCHING CANNOT BE STOPPED!!!!
  • i don't see why a female viewer couldn't sympathize Janey. She genuinely loves Dr. Manhattan, and sticks by his side even after his accident just to be dumped at the sight of a prettier, younger girl.

    and i don't see why they couldn't sympathize with the male characters. it's not like you need a penis to feel bad for the young Walter Kovacs.
  • I agree, I thought the movie was great and this was a lose lose situation for Snyder no matter how he made it. He did a great job with the adaption and made it better than anyone else could have.
  • 911, not 9/11
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