I’ve seen Watchmen but I can’t tell you anything about it. I’m under an incredibly strict embargo and will suffer severely should I even so much as drop an emoticon on the subject.

Amongst the other lucky fellows to see the film were 300 MTV viewers, taking part in the recording of their Spoilers show. After seeing the film on Wednesday night they were then treated to a live Q&A with Zack Snyder, during which he spilled some saucy, saucy beans. VH1 have reported on the event, and I’ll drop the big quotes below the break.

“The director’s cut is three hours and 10 minutes and comes out in July,” Snyder revealed, calling his original edit “considerably more violent than this … and sexier” and explaining that if the movie does well, the director’s cut will get a theatrical release in Los Angeles and New York.

Following that, of course, will be the Watchmen DVD in the fall — which will include what he dubbed a “Crazy Ultimate Freaky Edition” boasting such time-omitted extras as Tales of the Black Freighter, Hollis Mason’s death, more Manhattan moments on Mars and dialogue-heavy scenes with the newsstand-bonding Bernies.

Collider has confirmed that the directors cut will be three hours and ten minutes in length and that the “Crazy Ultimate Freaky Edition” will be three hours and 25 minutes long. Sounds good, huh? Perhaps it is. Or perhaps Watchmen isn’t worth any of your anticipation at all. I mean… can Alan Moore and Dave Gibbon’s masterwork truly be done justice in a single movie?

My review will come the very second the embargo is lifted. Why hold it back any longer? I wish I could run it now.

Don’t forget that the theatrical release of the director’s cut depends on a grand performance by the first theatrical version. Vote with your wallets. Or, of course, you could argue that keeping back the (supposedly) superior version and telling you’d have to pay twice - or at least sit on your hands a while - to access it is a deeply cynical and hideously commercial move on the part of Warner Bros. and just boycott the ploy altogether.

Looks to me like the great Director’s Cut scam is being warmed over again. Do you accept Warner Bros. giving us just a snipped-down first run?

Spoilers is airing on MTV in the US this Saturday at 8pm and there’s likely to be much more from Snyder then.

UPDATE: Tales of the Black Freighter will last 24 mins, 28 seconds and 11 frames in its stand alone version, so obviously some of that will be left out in the amalgamated edit. The Culpeper Minute - Under the Hood will run 35 minutes, 53 seconds and 4 frames.