You’ve checked out the movie advertisements from this year’s Super Bowl. But what about the non-film-related commercials? Did this year’s television advertisements justify the time for non-football fans? Read on for a full list of my random thoughts on the subject, organized into award form.

Company Who Most Clearly Spent All Their Money on Buying Advertising Time (and nothing else): Vizio

Vizio is known as a budget HDTV, and this advertisement goes a long way towards corroborating that reputation.

Best Use of Common Movie Plot Device (Guy Getting Randomly Hit By Bus): Doritos

This Doritos advertisement shows that even the Doritos company has enough skill to direct a Final Destination film.

Best Use of Koala Abuse: CareerBuilder

Nothing much to say about this ad, except it’s awesome.

Ad whose product was most difficult to guess: Sprint

This “Roadies Running Airlines” ad is pretty clever, but after the first run through, the commercial’s content seemed about as connected to its product as your standard Mentos ad.

Most Heinous Desecration of Childhood Film: GE

GE thought it’d be a good idea to make a bastardized, much-freakier version of The Wizard of Oz’s Scarecrow sing a commercially altered rendition of “If I Only Had a Brain.” Instead of turning me on to GE, all they did was make my inner child weep with sadness.

Best Non-Reference Reference to a Movie Franchise (The Transporter): Audi

Technically, they don’t say that it’s Jason Statham’s Frank Martin driving the Audi in these commercials, but we all know the truth. Also, I love the look of utter disdain on Statham’s face when he considers stealing the Lexus (Statham fans will know this look is comparable how he appeared throughout the entire runtime of In the Name of the King).

Best Use of Wanton Violence (Three-Way Tie): Doritos, Pepsi, and Bud-Light

These ads show that while wardrobe malfunctions will get moralizing adults asking, “Won’t anyone think of the children?,” portraying everyday guys being electrocuted, thrown out of office windows, and sustaining brutal head injuries won’t make anyone bat an eye. Also, Doritos is here because seeing an old man’s testicles get shattered with a crystal ball is high-brow comedy at its finest.

Best Use of Classical Music (Prokofiev): Coca Cola

This Cola-ized arrangement of Prokofiev’s “Peter and the Wolf” aside, I’m actually a fan of how this commercial makes nature out to be a Rube-Goldberg-esque contraption designed to deprive one man of his refreshing beverage.

Ad That Most Actively Plays Up The Disadvantages of Its Product: Hulu

Baldwin’s charisma and comedic brilliance translate quite well into this ad for Hulu, which makes television out to be toxic, brain-rotting activity. Nonetheless, I, for one, welcome our new Hulu overlords…

Biggest WTF (Four-Way Tie): Sobe, E-Trade, Coca Cola and Castor Oil:

Don’t really know what to say about any of these, except that babies shouldn’t ever talk outside of the Look Who’s Talking films, online avatars are frightening when inserted into real life situations, and monkey-human making out is so, so hot.

Discuss: What were some of your favorite Super Bowl ads this year?