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VOTD: xXx: The Death of Xander Cage

Posted on Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 by Peter Sciretta

xXx: The Death of Xander Cage

The Pitch: A couple days ago, it was announced that Vin Diesel is in talks to return for a third xXx film titled xXx: The Return of Xander Cage. /Film reader Karel R alerted me to this short film titled xXx: The Death of Xander Cage, which was apparently a special feature on the director’s cut DVD. It’s almost unbelievable. The film is supposed to tie up loose ends between the first and second films, and explain how Vin Diesel’s character met his ultimate demise. The funniest part is the whole thing was shot without Diesel’s involvement.

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  • Jake Nelson
    um really?

    wow
  • jimbo stewart
    The death of quality cinema is a more apt title.
  • Jason
    "I'm going to fuck you until your eye balls implode."

    Best. Line. Ever.
  • Andrew
    That was stupid... and extremely unbelievable.
  • what the fuck was that

    i feel 100 times stupider after watching that "short film"
  • I'm surprised nobody knows this. Seems like xXx 2 DVD didn't make a lot of money either...
  • Mitch Mouse
    Rammstein was the only redeeming quality of that video.

    "Freuer Frei!
  • Fir3Wolf
    That was rough and I really don't believe I watched that whole thing. Four minutes of my life out the window, but yea Rammstein was a plus.
  • OAKside
    Included in the second film's DVD, I assume? That entire film - as much as I watched of it - seemed as unnecessary and horrendous as this short, so it'd make sense. I can't believe these hacks even attempted to explain things, although that short looked like more of a jab at Diesel declining the sequel (and their payday decreasing) than anything.

    I hope Diesel can land another decent screenplay someday, he's had some bad ones. Having to go back to sequels he practically already declined looks bad though, even a bit desperate.
  • Alexander
    yeah, i loved "vin diesels" line , too
    but from acting skills i must admit, you wouldn't be able to spot the real or the fake vin diesel^^

    p.s. it´s so funny for a german that especially Rammstein is such a huge hit outside of germany
  • Jack Donaghy
    Leila Arcieri must be really hard up for money.
  • EPIC. FAIL.
    Lame from beginning to end.
    It's good to see consistency in Cohen's oeuvre.
  • Hahaha that was sooo funny!
    I actually liked it. Yeah, it was extremely unbelievable, obviously cut&edit from everywhere, and with one hell of a ridiculously funny end,... but all this makes it one hell of a parody!
  • Troy
    dadaddadadadad, SNAP!!! must have been a in da da land for a minute. Thank god thats over
  • Lee
    right on jason,

    "eye balls implode.”

    wow. just wow.
  • BLAHHH!!!
    Made the third film a reality...UNTIL the ridiculous piece of fake neck came flying out the window.
  • edc
    it made me laugh, if only to see a dumb character explode
  • Clerks_girl
    I don't know why everyone's bitching. Surely his piece of neck skin that held the Triple X tatoo really solidifies the pure horror of that which is his death.

    I actually found myself lol-ing the "shhh". Good acting there.

    Also..that guys bald head is bigger then Vin's yeah?

    What a piece o' shit.
  • A.J.
    What the fuck did I just watch!? ha! You weren't kidding, That was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen. wow, I love how they super-imposed the line 'the things I'm gonna do for my country' straight from the first movie, and it was so out of context, It didn't make sense! None of this made sense!!!! ha! What was the point of the chick getting kid-napped?! I'm sorry this was too outrageous, I'm still trying to sort out the awfulness, oh well its not worth it.
  • vidzblog
    they should make a whole vin diesel movie using that guy, see if they can shoot 90 minutes using back of head shots, would save a ton of money
  • Darrell
    That was terrible... may have just stopped me from seeing ANY xXx again!
  • Bull
    This was better than the movie.
  • that was pretty terrible. makes you wonder what part three of xxx will be like.
  • deadbydawn
    That 4mins was better then all the Vin Diesel movies combined.
  • ian
    Wow they totally are gonna rape that chick thats effed up.
  • Tan
    ....



    his skin was the best part
  • dvq
    and i thought it wasnt possible to film a plot hole, man, they nailed it.
  • KeanE
    I wonder how he gets the back of his neck back???
  • Rob
    Wow! That was just painful to watch. Did they really think they were going to pull this off in the film? I think that was the worst case of a double playing an actor since Plan 9 from Outer Space where they got a guy about 6 inches taller than Bela Lugosi to walk around on screen pretending to be him with a cap over his face.
  • daniel
    HAHAHA flaming scalp!!
  • Not really having seen the film(s), I find it hard to believe that a hero who would be able to save the world by doing extreme stunts would fall for such an obvious trap. This is almost as bad as Captain Kirk's death in Generations.

    That chick was hot though.
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