Umm… The Elf prince gave a short speech after he put his crown on and asked if there was any who would challenge him, right in front of Hellboy and his crew. As for the robots standing by and the elves not, I just assumed that they went by a different code of combat and moved on. Seriously, it wasn’t hard.

Anyway, I love Pan’s Labyrinth, and hence Guillermo, but that doesn’t mean I turned fanboy. I saw Hellboy AFTER I saw Pan’s Labyrinth, was a little bored, and that was that. Hellboy II, however, rocks. I thought of it as a tasty snack before the main course on Friday.

I must say to all, I did enjoy Hellboy II more than bad versions of visual eye candy movies like Van Helsen and Transformers. I’m just amazed how the aesthetic choices in this Del Toro feature cover such bad story and character development. I was thinking later about the ONE big hero moment for Hellboy is completely illogical. Earlier, the elf prince uses the “I challenge you line” with the old king elf, what happens? He has to fight through the Elf King’s guards. Hellboy uses this same challenge but first, there is no way he should have knowledge of it since he was not there, and secondly, he gets to fight the elf prince one-on-one while the robotic soldiers stand by! I know there is a certain leap of faith and loose ends in these types of movies yet the heroic climax of this film was totally wasted. The multi-eyed winged thingy is another example of poor character development, why is Hellboy not remotely active in the decision to go to this spot, why is everything given to the Hellboy’s clan – “Go here” “Proclaim your love here” “Now I shall remove the shard for you”. These are first year screenplay writing mistakes. Compare this to GOOD comic book movie situations where the hero and villains are active and doing things that allow us to understand their internal workings more. Like Peter Park allowing the robber to go, Peter Park struggles with making a living or selling out, the love triangle in X-men, the development of the Joker’s character in the Burton Batman. Why are you guys giving this movie a pass? Just admit you are hypnotized by the shining object. We need to demand more from these movies or they will continue to be watered down.

oh, and for the CG nerds out there the problem with rubber masks limiting Hellboy’s lips is driving me crazy and I feel betrayed by Del Toro! Why was this not fixed after the first film, he talked about it! He CGs Abe’s eyes, what, too lazy to do a couple scenes with Hellboy’s lips - much more important to making the audience identify with Hellboy. Lazy ass Spaniard! He missed a great opportunity on the awkward non-kiss scene! What was that? Head touch? What, was the studio scared about bestiality overtones? No, they didn’t spend the time and money to do it right and knew they couldn’t with rubber lips. Why didn’t they comically stretch Hellboys lips out for a big pucker? Dam, f*ck!

Personally, I’d much rather del Toro take on Vampire Hunter D, perhaps something along the lines of the kick ass VHD: Bloodlust ;)

Hold onto em Dave!

Pitt and DiCaprio are Tarantino’s Bastards?