Dear Roland Emmerich, you cannot out-destroy our planet better than Michael Bay. We’d rather you burn the $200 million budget for 2012 in a pit on the beach and film Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover dancing around it. MTV confirms that Woody has signed to star in Emmerich’s Mayan Doomsday Bonanza, 2012, and, yes, he’ll play the token “told you so” paranoiac…

“I play a guy who’s been talking for a long time, the whole world thinks he’s crazy,” Harrelson said of his character. “But he’s been talking that there’s gonna be hell to pay for what’s been going on ecologically and everything.”

Harrelson added, “I don’t know why they thought of me.” Yep. He’ll join a cast that includes John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Amanda Peet, Glover and (of course) Oliver Platt. Emmerich’s last two films, 10,000 BC and The Day After Tomorrow, were godawful and probably cost more than the Iraq War. He also made The Patriot, which has a growing ironic following due to the Pineapple Express tribute posters.

Michael Bay has a “competing” project in development called 2012: The War For the Souls. If anyone out there has a voice oft-mistaken for a cool demon’s, please leave the previous sentence on Emmerich’s voice mail every single day until his film is released on July 10, 2009.

  • Wait a second... how can someone say the Pineapple Express poster(s) are tributes to The Patriot? One large face on a poster didn't start with The Patriot.
  • All it needs is a comedian now and then it will be complete.

    I'm sure Martin Lawrence isn't doing anything he could really use this.
  • Christopher Edwards
    When is Woody Harrelson going to slow down with all the films he is in, works the hardest that there is.

    This film has been doomed since 10,000 BC
  • brian
    having a budget of 200 million dollars, if true, is sickening
  • Greyson
    I don't see the connection to the "tribute" either.

    I will, however, say that Roland Emrich gives Bay a run for his money. Stargate was better than Pearl Harbor, and I'll damn sure say Godzilla was better than The Island. Both Independence Day and Armageddon are 2 of my favorite disaster films too, so we'll have to see who does a better 2012 movie.

    Also, "the war for the souls" or whatever is a title I can easily puke up while saying.
  • Hunter Stephenson
    @ Patriot/PE posters

    Specifically, the group poster....
    http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/04/03/pineapple-e...
  • Driven
    I rather see Michael Bays 2012 movie, most will complain about story, but it will be entertaining and filled with action nonetheless.
  • Captain Awesome
    "and I’ll damn sure say Godzilla was better than The Island"

    You should have your nuts put into a vice for even admitting that.
  • jimbo stewart
    None of the posters for the Patriot resemble anything close to the PE one-sheets.

    Have you gone mad, Hunter?
  • I didn't think it was possible for me to want to see this movie any less.

    Until now.

    Vic
  • J Butler
    You should have posted the link to the Peter Pinapple express posters, hunter. :(
  • Captain Awesome
    Screen Rant,

    You'd think Roland Emmerich's name would have been enough to keep anyone away. How this guy hasn't managed to be set on fire is a fucking mystery to me.
  • 790
    Well smoke me a doob that changes everything......
  • Jeff A.
    Michael Bay isn't that good. He is just getting love because he didn't completely fuck up Transformers. Before that what did he have? The Rock (admittedly one of the best action movies ever imo).

    I don't really care about either movie though.
  • cobra
    2008 - 2012 ...

    *** The Pentagon estimated that a sudden stopping of the Gulf Stream could possibly take place for a period of 5 years, starting with October 2003. The ice age will begin when the currents of the ocean will no longer transport the warm water to the Polar Regions.

    At the end of 2003. the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution showed the fact the salinity of the Polar seas is dismishing due to the melting of the ice fields known for their sweet water:

    a)http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2004/feb/22/usnews.theobserver

    b)http://www.nap.edu/openbook.php?isbn=0309074347



    *** A variety of intellectual dissidents have suggested that Al Gore is in fact, still working on behalf of the One Party State, by "distracting" humanity from an apparent Off-world explanation for Global Warming. These "intellectual dissidents" include Cristian Negureanu, who is the author of Planet Eris and the Global Warming. Yes, it is apparent that Greenhouse Gas Emissions from a scientific standpoint, is a contributing factor to a context of Climate Change. However, the pivotal reason for destabilizing planetary Climate Change, as Cristian Negureanu, and other writers suggest, may very well be a planet that apparently re-enters Earth's region of time-space once every 3,600 years. Apparently, this planetary constellation, has caused historically recorded ancient environmental cataclysms. This has included the warming-up of polar regions, drought, horrific famines and great floods. Full story:

    http://www.agoracosmopolitan.com/home/Frontpage...



    *** NASA AND PLANET X:

    http://www.australia.to/story/0,25197,23040466-...



    *** YOUTUBE: Planet Eris - the cause of global warming

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=f5WnuRekG4s



    AMAZON.COM: Planet Eris and the Global Warming:

    http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Global-Warming-Cri...
  • I think it's going to be
    a good movie with
    john cusack, thandie newton,
    woody harrelson, and danny glover
    bringing their talents.
  • SuicideCommando
    Woody Harrelson's character is really representing talk show host Alex Jones.
blog comments powered by Disqus